second stake.

[slayerpreferred.livejournal.com]

[Buffy is sitting on an unweildy tower, looking out over the edge. This is where she died, and where Dawn almost had. It's a cloudy day and she wishes the rain would just fall and get it over with instead of taunting her with its heavy cumulus. She knows, logically, she could probably make the Sun come out, or even make the rain come, if it was what she wanted-- but she's sick of being in control. She wants the world back with its unpredictable and even sometimes cruel ways. She wants the real Earth beneath her and the real sky over her and all the messed up stuff in between. She wants to feel love and hate and trust and hurt. She wants her life back.

But she doesn't, all the same. Spike, her mom's death, Dawn.... So many things held a giant question mark, and things were good here. Great, even. She could be with Angel without fear, and she had made friends she could visit whenever she wanted. The only question she had left at the end of her long think-y process was simply, Was it more selfish to stay, or to go?]

Just go away. Get your own tower of feel-bad. [she murmurs when you approach, curling around herself.]

Comments

[changedthegame.livejournal.com]

Then I guess... [He shakes his head. The conversation's just going to keep going in circles. Maybe it's about time for it to leave the depressing, or something] I jumped off of a building once.

[slayerpreferred.livejournal.com]

[That catches her attention, and she looks at him like he's damaged. But okayyy, she's amused.] Are you trying to show me up?

[changedthegame.livejournal.com]

Well that is why I initially failed to mention the parachute. [He's not really trying to make light of her situation or anything. It's his lame attempt at cheering her up]

[slayerpreferred.livejournal.com]

[She gets it, and it might be working. A little. Maybe.] A parachute? Nice try, mister, but better luck next time.

[changedthegame.livejournal.com]

[With the conversation getting more light-hearted, Sam sorta loosens his hold on her hand, but doesn't yet pull his away. They aren't quite at that point in the talking yet] How about... I jumped out of a helicopter?

[slayerpreferred.livejournal.com]

A helicopter? [These eyebrows are climbing.] With a parachute? I'm starting to see a theme here. A jumping off of things guy theme.

[changedthegame.livejournal.com]

With a parachute. [He nods. He can't help but grin at the climbing eyebrows] Jumping is an easy getaway when you're cornered on a rooftop. Well, helicopter was a special case.

[slayerpreferred.livejournal.com]

Well, it certainly sounds like a solution. Do you get corned on rooftops often? [Buffy gives spares their hands another sidelong glance, doing her best not to shift in hopes Sam won't pull away.

[changedthegame.livejournal.com]

Only when I break into buildings that I'm not supposed to be in. [Unless she gives him some indication that she's through with hand holding, he'll keep holding her hand. He's gotten past the initial awkward]

[slayerpreferred.livejournal.com]

[Definitely not through. She gives a sound that's ~almost~ a laugh.] Okay, do you do that often?

[changedthegame.livejournal.com]

[Almost a laugh? He'll take it!] Only about once a year. Well, once upon a time. Not anymore.

[slayerpreferred.livejournal.com]

What happens once a year? ..Or used to.

[changedthegame.livejournal.com]

[Sam squeezes her hand and closes his eyes] Once a year, I sorta play a prank on my dad's company. Well, what used to be his company, at least. It was my way of honoring him, I guess.

[slayerpreferred.livejournal.com]

[She leans a little closer, completely invested in storytime.] Were you and your dad...close?

[changedthegame.livejournal.com]

We were about as close as we could be, all things considered.

[slayerpreferred.livejournal.com]

[Her eyes are sad when she smiles for him.] Mom and me were really close too.

[changedthegame.livejournal.com]

[Sam slides a little closer to Buffy. Some measure of closeness just seems right, at the moment] What was your mom like?

[slayerpreferred.livejournal.com]

She was... the best mom anyone could have. Period. She always took care of me, and even Dawnie, no matter what. [She was tearing up and trying desperately not to.] She was so good about all the Slayer stuff, you know? Like who takes that in stride-- Hey, your daughter was chosen to fight lots of scaly monsters and creeps with fangs, and oh, she'll probably die before her 21st birthday.

But she did it. And she was so-- so good about it. [A tear falls, and her other hand is quick to rub at her eyes.]

[changedthegame.livejournal.com]

She really sounds great. She actually sounds, well, exactly like the kind of mom I hope I had. [Sam pulls his hand from Buffy's and then pauses before wrapping an arm around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. It's only seconds before he lets his arm fall again, though]

[slayerpreferred.livejournal.com]

[She frowns, wondering what she did to lose the contact. Maybe she was being come on too strong girl. Buffy leaned back a bit again, looking at her feet as the tower creaked.] It sounds stupid, but she was perfect.

[changedthegame.livejournal.com]

It sounds pretty not stupid to me. [He holds his hand out to her, hoping she'll get his not so subtle hint]

[slayerpreferred.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess it can't be too stupid if it's true. [She feels her cheeks heat up, color spreading across as she takes his hand again, her eyes still shining with unshed tears.]

[changedthegame.livejournal.com]

Exactly. You know, I tried to get the conversation away from the depressing topics, but we seem to keep going back to those.

[slayerpreferred.livejournal.com]

It's kind of hard not to.

[changedthegame.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess it is. [He looks down at their hands, finding them rather interesting at the moment] My mom was killed in a car accident when I was a kid. Like, two or three years old. Dad and Alan and my grandparents used to all tell me things about her, but it doesn't help, you know?