All I want for Christmas is...

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

[Christmas isn't always a fairytale. It's not always about Santa, or getting presents. Not always about families, not always about togetherness.]

[Sometimes, Christmas equates to isolation. It's something Roxas has gotten used to.]

[Here in the orphanage, plenty of kids are getting excited over the season. It's the season to be jolly-- and the season for couples to feel that little pang of longing, to have a young one of their own bouncing into their room, ripping the colorful paper off presents and beaming up at the camera that will capture them for ages to come.]

[So the orphanage opens it's doors, lets more people in than usual and gives the children a chance to be at their best- playing, fighting, crying; laughing, in front of the many potential mothers and fathers that look their way. Roxas just doesn't understand it.]

[So he stays out of the way, under a tree with his little black book, and writes about far off worlds with disappearing cats and talking caterpillars, because when you don't know what you're missing--]

[How can you want it?]





[OOC: Meet a smaller Roxas than usual- around eight years old and brimming with confusion over the current events. Essentially playing up his lack of understanding to both christmas and family, so-- feel free to pull him from that isolation.]

Comments

;w; /Plays the big bro

[reverse-destiny.livejournal.com]

[Well, Sora isn't one to let Roxas always be on his own. Someone has to watch out for the younger children, so why not him? So, Sora will plop down nearby, a small stack of Christmas cookies and milk held in each hand.]

What'cha writing about?

lolol <3

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

Um.

[Roxas pauses, carefully shifting so Sora can't see the page, noting down the end of the sentence and closing the pages, ducking his head shyly.]

Not much...

[reverse-destiny.livejournal.com]

Come on, no reason to be shy.

[Here, Roxas. Have some cookies, and a glass of milk.]

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

[With as much care as his little hands can put into it-- this is his book, after all, his gift from last Christmas-- Roxas places the journal aside, taking the glass of milk and a cookie with a quiet 'thank you'. Dunking the crumbly texture into the glass, he seems quite happy to simply chew for a moment.]

I was writing about Wonderland. Like that book with Alice in it.

One day, I wanna go there.

[curepotion.livejournal.com]

[ he's lived in the orphanage for most of his life until he aged out of the system. Riku could only find it customary and expected of him to give back around this time of year. so, what does he bring? a cart of presents, large and small. he doesn't dress up, simply in a professional suit, coat and scarf as he checks in.

and then he spots Roxas, and he pauses for a moment. okay, he's never been good with kids, but... ]

Hey.

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

[He hears the crunching of snow, knows someone is approaching- but a ball just flew over this way, he heard the metallic sound of hollow plastic bouncing just a few meters to his right. So Roxas doesn't expect a word to be thrown his way until Riku speaks and looking up, bemused.]

Hi. [Roxas' eyes trail from Riku to the cart of brightly wrapped gifts behind him, then back again.] You don't look like Santa.

[curepotion.livejournal.com]

[ he smiles slightly, letting out a wry chuckle. ]

I'm not. He'll be around later.

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

[Roxas sighs, looking back down to his journal and scratching a few more words in. 'Slowly, the cat began to turn invizab invisible..' This was why he didn't understand Christmas.]

No he won't.

[It was supposed to be so happy, so why did everyone lie?]

/BREAKS HIATUS FOR BECAUSE KLJSSdg

[lockandkeyblade.livejournal.com]

[Sora doesn't enter the dream so much as he just 'wakes up' to it. There's no outward panic, or even much surprise as he stands at the door and takes in the sight of the orphanage. But inwardly, it's like breaking the surface when he's been underwater for too long, or maybe shielding his eyes from a bright light. It feels like it's been forever since he's had a remotely normal dream like this. It's inherently sad, and lonely. But he's just so glad to be himself again that it's impossible to complain.]

[And then Sora sees him: isolated and separate, his back to the others and their cheerful murmurs, scrawling into a book.]

[Sora's breath leaves him, just rushes out all at once as his heart just twists in his chest. He's small, and he's lost a couple of years. His cheeks are rounder, blonde locks of hair a little more unruly. But he's himself again. That's his Roxas, untouched and pure, and he never knew he could miss anybody so much.]

[He stands by the tree; He can see Roxas' tiny shoes poking out from under its branches. Takes a moment to wipe at his eyes, to pat his cheeks (Geeze, pull yourself together).]

[Roxas taught him how to change the dream, to make things happen. And a moment later, there are two cups of hot chocolate, topped with white marshmallows. One of which Sora sets down beside Roxas' elbow. Then he sits cross legged, leaning over slightly to peer down at the book.]

What're you up to down there?

/SCREAMS AND CLINGSDFKGJGDKJ

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

[It's like this funny calming sensation in his tummy. It starts as butterflies, except they're warm-- and it goes through his entire body, taking away the chill in the air and leaving him quite cozy, really.]

['As Alice fell down the rabbit hole...' He's putting his journal to the side before Sora even approaches him, knowing that he's waiting and not really sure why. No one usually comes near him-- he doesn't get the same greetings that the other kids do. So why would someone single him out?]

[It just doesn't seem odd at all, to keep his gaze focused on the opening of the branches. To watch someones feet- he's not dressed for the weather; he'll catch a cold- pause by the entrance, shifting aorund slightly before letting themselves in, encroaching on personal space which isn't usually open but this time, this time Roxas is pretty sure he can make an exception.]

I'm writing stories. [Is the calm reply Roxas gives him. His solemn little face isn't smiling, but it's relaxed. Calm.] About a girl who falls down a rabbit hole, and meets a vanishing cat and a talking caterpillar.

[His hands fumble with his scarf for a moment, before he's unwinding it from his own next and placing it about Sora's with childish unsteadiness, possibly tugging to hard and maybe tying it a bit oddly.]

You're gonna catch a cold.

[lockandkeyblade.livejournal.com]

[There goes his heart again, a tug in his chest. He remembers Alice. Remembers the rabbit. Remembers the dumb argument they had about the sleeping doorknob and the roses. And then for no reason at all, he feels awful. Looking down at Roxas, at his journal, all he can think about is how he's sorry he let Roxas hurt, sorry he couldn't pull Roxas out from the dark.]

[The scarf is clumsily wrapped around his neck, tiny hands pulling it snugly. It's unexpected. Surprising. But it's perfect. Even like this, Roxas is looking out for him. It's so like him.]

[He's looking down at the scarf around his neck, at the cloth in his hands, but it's all getting blurry. He turns his gaze up and away, and Roxas might hear a soft noise awfully close to a sniffle, but nothing else. Instead, Sora recovers fairly quick, giving Roxas a quiet laugh and a sheepish grin.]

Looks like I already did.

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

[Roxas tsks, trying to sound like a grown up but instead looking even younger, cheeks lightly puffed out and lips set into a frown. You're not allowed to get a cold on Christmas, Sora-- that's not how good cheer and joy works, you know.]

Then you're silly. [Is the simple reply, and Roxas stares out into the snow, at the kids running around, laughing and playing. The adults watching them with adoring eyes and huge smiles; sitting next to Sora, he gets it a little more. Like putting together pieces of a puzzle, combining the thoughts in his head with the warm butterflies in his tummy and chest. It feels like he's finally learning things again.]

...I had a dream. [A small, quiet admittence, something that could easily be lost in the noise of the playground around them, even with Roxas at his side. Sora's sniffle could've been from the cold-- Roxas' isn't.]

I was really lonely.

[The hot chocolate's been ignored up till now, and Roxas still doesn't drink it, not yet. Instead he dips his finger into the mixture, stirring the marshmallow around and allowing his eyes to rest on that.]

And it was dark. I wanted to go back to Wonderland.

[existwithoutme.livejournal.com]

[Kuja stands out sharply, dressed in his finery: obviously an adult and obviously not one ordinarily found in the orphanage.

So many children, all around him... Why is he here? He doesn't care for children. Though much of this is bitterness and unfamiliarity, as he was never a child himself.

Looking at them now, he feels a certain melancholy. Their chaotic capering and their potentiality have nothing to do with him. He drifts off to one side, wondering why he bothered to come. There, on the periphery of all the action, he finds a boy writing in a book. This interests him somewhat.]

What is it you're writing there?

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

[Roxas has no interest in the world around him. There's questions to ask, sense to be made of it- but there's a feeling inside him that tells the boy, even at this age, that he doesn't belong in that merriment. There's no place for him with the other children, or loving parents.]

[He doesn't get it, so he writes in his book. At least until someone takes the time to ask about him.]

A story. About a girl and a vanishing cat.

dangit, someone's using her weakness to loneliness against her again XD <33

[waterfell.livejournal.com]

[She must be a visitor: late teens, not one of the orphans and too young to be adopting a child herself. Roxas may or may not even recognize her. Ami's standing apart from the groups, though, and that's how she notices him.

For a moment, she simply watches, irritated by her urge to do something, to help him. But before long, she heads right towards him, ignoring the children playing in favor of the one reading the book and the one... whose loneliness she can understand, shut away from his peers and even from these would-be parents, the one left behind when others are chosen, the one who must sometimes wonder why he's not good enough to be with someone, too. Or maybe she's projecting.

Once she's at the tree, close enough to speak, she nods slightly towards the book in his hand.]

What are you writing? [It's voiced as a serious question; it works to start a conversation.]

fff, doesn't he always?

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

[He's not...lonely, per say. At times, at a distance, he'll watch and he'll wonder why other kids do this and that, why parents choose that child over this one, or why celebrations occur throughout the year that really make no sense at all. He's not lonely; but he is curious. And sometimes, that curiousity has an aspect of sadness to it.]

[Whatever the answers to his questions, Roxas is quite sure he has no part in them.]

[So it's a surprise to have someone approach him. Even more of a surprise to have her speak- ask such a question that demands to know the ins and outs of Roxas' personal, private thing. His story. There's a sense of hesitance, in his reply.]

A story...

Not fair. She really needs to rip that part of herself out :|

[waterfell.livejournal.com]

[Reluctant or not, the answer raises Roxas in the bookworm girl's esteem. She's always preferred those types of pursuits. His hesitance is enough to make her avoid asking for details, though; some things are private.

That's what she tells herself, anyway.]

You must be dedicated to do that instead of playing with the children.

[connectedsky.livejournal.com]

[Even in the middle of such a lonely place, there was the sound of Christmastime cheer. If anyone was reveling in that cheer, it was Sora. He ran through the dream, admiring decorations he had seen a million times before, laughing with other children, and doing his best to imagine what everyone's presents would look like under the tree in the front room. He's even trying to help, though the adults keep telling him to just run off and play.

It's after he asks yet another person about helping put up decorations that Sora finally spots someone sitting alone, away from everybody else, writing something. He looked...sad. Why wasn't he happy? It was Christmas!

No one should be sad - or alone - at Christmas.

He walks over to the other boy, sitting down right in front of him.]

Can I see?

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

[Roxas looks up over his book, bemused but not upset. Sora's always been the loudest of the crowd- the one who looks everywhere and knows everyone, helps around and shares his gifts; be them drawings, or toys. Why he hasn't been adopted yet, with the spirit he has, is a mystery.]

[But even though Sora knows...everyone, there's one person he doesn't. A nobody. And Roxas has always been okay with that, if only because he never knows what to say.]

Um...

[He looks down at his book, then back to Sora. His book is very precious- he wouldn't let just anyone touch it. But Sora isn't like the other kids; he wouldn't take it and run off. He'd appreciate it, as much as Roxas does.]

I guess so. [He holds out the book to the other, feeling awkward. He'll be watching Sora like a hawk, just to make sure nothing happens to it.]

let's meet again in the next life --

[irreversibly.livejournal.com]

[There's another orphan on the other side of the tree. They look to be about Roxas' age, judging by their size, but it's hard to tell if the kid is a boy or a girl because of the two-toned hoodie they wear (white from hood to shoulders, purple from upper arms down). The hood is up and drawn to hide the face, but it's still clear that their wrapt attention is on their own book -- they're not writing or drawing, though. Just reading.]

silly. just because you have a next life--

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

[Roxas scrawls away in childish handwriting; he's not wearing any gloves, and eventually his fingers are simply too cold to hold the pencil. So he shuts his book, crawling around the opposite side of the tree, and laying his head in the orphan's lap.]

[Maybe it's hard to tell-- he, she, it; Xion never puts her hood down and Roxas has never asked her to-- but right here is the best friend he could've asked for, even if neither of them understood Christmas at all.]

It's cold.

[irreversibly.livejournal.com]

[Xion hears him coming, so she isn't surprised when he pops around. She's a little surprised he put his head in her lap, but, well. It doesn't bother her. She just lifts her book and looks down at him.]

Do you want my gloves?

[burnamotherdown.livejournal.com]

[It's an odd dream to find himself in the middle of- not by scenery, or due to what's happening, that all seems fairly normal- but rather, due to the fact that Axel doesn't seem to fit in here at all. Too young be part of the crowd looking to adopt, and too old to be one of the orphans, Axel feels as though he sticks out like a sore thumb.

So he moves out of sight, hangs back and lets the dream play out without him for a while- and then he spots him.

It's Roxas sitting under that tree, Axel's sure of it even from this distance- and so he sets out towards the boy, moving fast as though he's afraid Roxas will disappear if he takes too long.]

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

[Roxas is absorbed in the pages of his book, in filling them, in telling a story. More than anything, he wishes he could be one of the lines in his story- jump down a rabbit hole like Alice, and go on an adventure.]

[But he stays right where he is, for the most part. Settled against the trunk of a tree in the snow, writing away- his heart beats, a heavy thunk that makes his jump, like he's just tripped over and slammed right into some ice.]

[It's looking around that he sees something different. Bright red hair, vivid against the white landscape. Roxas doesn't know what to do as he approaches, so quickly. There's a look on Axel's face that screams recognition, delight, fear--]

[Roxas gives him a smile, ducking his head and waving a little.]

[burnamotherdown.livejournal.com]

[It stops Axel dead in his tracks for a moment, that smile- it's real. It's real and so very Roxas, and inspires a similar smile of his own in return. His pace then quickens, doubles, until he comes to a slow halt in front of the boy.

He falters. Stutters for a moment.]

Uh-- hi.

[He's so relieved. So, so happy. It's Roxas. Not broken, or twisted. Just his Roxas.

His grin is enormous.]