onepassingnight | All I want for Christmas is...

[Christmas isn't always a fairytale. It's not always about Santa, or getting presents. Not always about families, not always about togetherness.]

[Sometimes, Christmas equates to isolation. It's something Roxas has gotten used to.]

[Here in the orphanage, plenty of kids are getting excited over the season. It's the season to be jolly-- and the season for couples to feel that little pang of longing, to have a young one of their own bouncing into their room, ripping the colorful paper off presents and beaming up at the camera that will capture them for ages to come.]

[So the orphanage opens it's doors, lets more people in than usual and gives the children a chance to be at their best- playing, fighting, crying; laughing, in front of the many potential mothers and fathers that look their way. Roxas just doesn't understand it.]

[So he stays out of the way, under a tree with his little black book, and writes about far off worlds with disappearing cats and talking caterpillars, because when you don't know what you're missing--]

[How can you want it?]

[OOC: Meet a smaller Roxas than usual- around eight years old and brimming with confusion over the current events. Essentially playing up his lack of understanding to both christmas and family, so-- feel free to pull him from that isolation.]

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[It's like this funny calming sensation in his tummy. It starts as butterflies, except they're warm-- and it goes through his entire body, taking away the chill in the air and leaving him quite cozy, really.]

['As Alice fell down the rabbit hole...' He's putting his journal to the side before Sora even approaches him, knowing that he's waiting and not really sure why. No one usually comes near him-- he doesn't get the same greetings that the other kids do. So why would someone single him out?]

[It just doesn't seem odd at all, to keep his gaze focused on the opening of the branches. To watch someones feet- he's not dressed for the weather; he'll catch a cold- pause by the entrance, shifting aorund slightly before letting themselves in, encroaching on personal space which isn't usually open but this time, this time Roxas is pretty sure he can make an exception.]

I'm writing stories. [Is the calm reply Roxas gives him. His solemn little face isn't smiling, but it's relaxed. Calm.] About a girl who falls down a rabbit hole, and meets a vanishing cat and a talking caterpillar.

[His hands fumble with his scarf for a moment, before he's unwinding it from his own next and placing it about Sora's with childish unsteadiness, possibly tugging to hard and maybe tying it a bit oddly.]

You're gonna catch a cold.

[There goes his heart again, a tug in his chest. He remembers Alice. Remembers the rabbit. Remembers the dumb argument they had about the sleeping doorknob and the roses. And then for no reason at all, he feels awful. Looking down at Roxas, at his journal, all he can think about is how he's sorry he let Roxas hurt, sorry he couldn't pull Roxas out from the dark.]

[The scarf is clumsily wrapped around his neck, tiny hands pulling it snugly. It's unexpected. Surprising. But it's perfect. Even like this, Roxas is looking out for him. It's so like him.]

[He's looking down at the scarf around his neck, at the cloth in his hands, but it's all getting blurry. He turns his gaze up and away, and Roxas might hear a soft noise awfully close to a sniffle, but nothing else. Instead, Sora recovers fairly quick, giving Roxas a quiet laugh and a sheepish grin.]

Looks like I already did.

[Roxas tsks, trying to sound like a grown up but instead looking even younger, cheeks lightly puffed out and lips set into a frown. You're not allowed to get a cold on Christmas, Sora-- that's not how good cheer and joy works, you know.]

Then you're silly. [Is the simple reply, and Roxas stares out into the snow, at the kids running around, laughing and playing. The adults watching them with adoring eyes and huge smiles; sitting next to Sora, he gets it a little more. Like putting together pieces of a puzzle, combining the thoughts in his head with the warm butterflies in his tummy and chest. It feels like he's finally learning things again.]

...I had a dream. [A small, quiet admittence, something that could easily be lost in the noise of the playground around them, even with Roxas at his side. Sora's sniffle could've been from the cold-- Roxas' isn't.]

I was really lonely.

[The hot chocolate's been ignored up till now, and Roxas still doesn't drink it, not yet. Instead he dips his finger into the mixture, stirring the marshmallow around and allowing his eyes to rest on that.]

And it was dark. I wanted to go back to Wonderland.

Edited 2011-12-11 19:09 (UTC)

[Sora's face falls. The memory, the dream is behind them. But that doesn't change the fact that it happened. Roxas and him. Floundering in the suffocating dark.]

[And then he lifts his eyes, because the warmth around his neck, and the presence at his side is more tangible, more poignant than a memory. Roxas has always been the one to take care of him, even now. But... now it's Sora's turn.]

[To be honest, he wants to steal Roxas away. Pick him right up and leave this place. Walk out the door with Roxas in his arms so he can warp the very reality of the dream into something so blindingly bright and warm that the very memory of what happened before is nothing but a blink in Roxas' eye. ]

You know, I think I might've had a dream like that too.

Yeah. You were there too.

[He was bigger. And more scared-- just not for himself. He didn't want the other Sora to hurt people; didn't want Sora to get hurt either. When Sora had joined him in the dark, there'd been a heavy sensation on his chest, like his heart had broken.]

[It felt a lot like failure.]

We don't have to go back, do we? [Another sniffle; hopefully Sora's not going to mind a few sticky, chocolate covered fingers as a small hand holds onto his arm. Roxas looks up at him, tears threatening to overspill down red cheeks and a miserable little frown on his face.]

I don't want you to.

No. We don't ever have to go back. I'm gonna keep you safe, okay?

[Sora just sighs and very gently slips his hand from Roxas' grasp. Instead, he brings his arm around Roxas' shoulder to scoot the other boy closer. He doesn't ever want to see Roxas frown like that again. Doesn't ever want to lose him to the dark, or to feel that devastating sadness when Sora shared his fate.]

[Even now, he can feel that protectiveness as he looks down at the smaller version of his other. There it is again: the urge to take him away from here.]

If you want ... I have a much better place that I'd like you to see.

Edited 2011-12-20 05:49 (UTC)

...'Kay.

[Roxas tenses slightly as Sora pulls him closer, before relaxing, leaning against his other's side and feeling slightly more content for the action. It's okay now. Sora's gonna be here. Nightmares...are just nightmares.]

[And Roxas can protect him too.]

[He looks up at the offer, before staring out at the snow covered playground, the other children, the potential parents, and the watchful patrons.]

I'm not supposed to leave.

All I want for Christmas is...

/SCREAMS AND CLINGSDFKGJGDKJ

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