onepassingnight | oo1｡ watching, waiting for something

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oo1｡ watching, waiting for something

[ A city seemingly consumed by shadows, sparse light only provided from empty buildings and the occasional street lamp, unless one counts the neon lights that line some of the edges of said empty buildings. There are some piles of rubble, blocking a number of the streets and the only way around them is through the alleyways that contain even darker shadows that than the whole city itself. The sole reason for the shadows overtaking the city- a bright moon in the shape of a heart lighting the sky, partially blocked by a towering skyscraper that seems to be in the center of the city, shining like some sort of beacon for all to head towards.

And at the base of it stands a lone person dressed in a black coat with their hood drawn, not moving for the moment.

Perhaps the reason for said coat is the block out the rain that's falling, a harsh wind blowing once in awhile in tandem with the thoughts going through said person's mind. Or perhaps it holds another purpose. Whatever the reason, he doesn't seem to be moving from his spot anytime soon, gaze turned upward to the sky and possibly looking at the heart shaped moon. Or maybe the castle that can be barely seen at this vantage point.

But if one could see into his thoughts, questions whirl in almost chaos, unrest there as he tries to piece a puzzle together despite all the pieces not being there. Fragments are missing and he can only do so much before needing to go off and find the rest of them. But will this place offer said answers?

Why?

What's going on?

How did it get to be like this?

Where's Sora?

He doesn't know but he's hoping that it will.

Because he's tired of not knowing, of being left in the dark. He wants to know and he won't stop until he figures everything out.

First step is always the hardest though. ]

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[ he's trying to let go of the dream, but it keeps pulling him back in. it's frustrating, and everything is garbled in this boy's mind.

flashes of other memories, flashes of his own, and Riku can't make sense of it. he's seen this boy's face before, but he's different from the other one. Roxas, the other Roxas--he knows him, has met him. he has never met this one. damn it, his head is already started to ache and he hasn't even talk--

ah.

oh, okay, so that's how it's supposed to be. ]

Why are you standing out here?

That's none of your business.

[ Watching and waiting for something, something, to happen but what he doesn't know yet.

It's probably the need to figure out the answers, hoping to find it in the heart shaped moon or somewhere within this city that's familiar to him. Vague flashes of memories of the time he actually had been here come and go within his mind, none he can particularly make out but recognizing certain things. Axel waiting for him as he leaves, the clash of Keyblades after defeating shadow figures, some kind of confrontation.

Everything blurs together, an odd mist coming from nowhere starting to fill the area, as the haze of memories attempting to distinct themselves but not succeeding at all. This isn't the best time, nor the best place to do this. Nothing is making sense..

He shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts and somewhat successful. ]

Touchy.

[ he murmurs, and out of sheer curiosity, he wraps the blindfold around his eyes, masking his view. he can see timelines easier, yes.

but that doesn't mean anything if he can't actually see. ]

You want answers, don't you?

Wha-?

[ Seeing Riku wrap that blindfold over his eyes brings a pang of familiarity to him, remembering the last time he's met the other boy. The reason he even went to the simulated Twilight Town. His defeat.

But for some reason, he can feel that this Riku is...different somehow.

It's weird. ]

How do you know that?

[ he moves a few steps towards Roxas, but stops again, and then brings his blindfold back up to expose an eye. ]

Because I can see what you've gone through and what you'll go through. You've been searching for answers and you haven't found them. You're still searching.

[ There's a slight instinct to step back when Riku steps forward, but he holds his ground, more interested in what the other just said than keeping distance. ]

What do you mean you can see what I've gone through?

[ If anything, the most perturbing thing is that Riku's right. He's still looking for answers and hasn't been able to find them. That's why he's here, isn't it? ]

Just what do you know?

I mean I can see your past.

[ he frowns and pulls the blindfold off fully, discarding it to the left. ]

I know about Axel. About X͈̭̹̮̞͋i͉̞̙̗̙͑o̡̥͍͙̼̟̩͉̬̻͌̃͊͝͠n̢̠̺̼̓̃̒͆ͬͮͧ̌, even if you don't remember. You're Number XIII of Organization XIII. The Key of Destiny. How many days has it been? Three hundred and...?

How do you-

[ He cuts himself off, taking a step back this time when the full meaning of what Riku said hits him. And then listing off all those things about him, things that he hadn't known until just recently when he'd gone looking for those answers himself. But what about that one part he couldn't understand?

Just how much does this Riku know? ]

I just do.

[ it's an even answer, he sighs. ]

Your future's clear, too.

[ It almost sounds too good to be true. Here's someone with answers, someone he shouldn't even be talking to and yet. ]

Why should I believe anything you say?

What would I get by lying to you? Think it through. This is your dream.

Dream?

[ Is this really his then? Not just something from Sora's memories or something simulated like Twilight Town had been for him? No lies then, only what he wants to know? ]

Even so, how can I just- [ take your word for it. ]

I don't know. It's up to you.

I'm giving you a choice to know everything. I̛̽ͯ̽̾͌͌̉ͫͦ̊̈̾͢҉̟̳̩̳̫̺̖͎̺̘̤ ͉̰͓͍̙̘͗̌̔͐͊̆̈̈́͆̊͆̈́̌͌̓͑̅́̚͘͢͞g̶͍̝̮̣̘̱̠̹̱̬͕͇̑̂̍ͤͥ̊͒͛̚a̢̘͓̗̙̭̠̤̰͇̯̭̫̾̐̏ͮ͒̍͛̋ͪ͆ͩ̔̊̑ͪ̔ͤ̐͟͝v̘̲͎̪̦̦̟̤̜͔̫ͧ͌ͣ̌̓͂ͣ̋ͩ̉͌͜͢ͅͅȩ̷͉̝̹̜̟̩͉̝̫͈̘̯̰̪̔̔́͌̾́̕ ̵̨̛͔͚͇̖̳͋̒ͭ̆ͤ̃͑̒̊̓ͥ̋̈̍̚ơ̞̤̝̲̜̣͈̱̤̠̝̝̌̐͐̈́́̀͡n̵̵̨̝̺͚̥͓̙̦̟͍͓̈́ͨ̓ͣ͢ͅe̴̳̗͔͍̳͓̖͚̹̝͕̯̲̠ͭ͌̃ͦ̌̓̈ͣ̕ ̓͊ͥ͛̔͌̈̊͑͛̏̓͏̸̶̷̹͉̪̤͚͈̼̫͓̥̞̪̬̞̣͍͎͉̬t͙̤͖͓̬̪̣̣̯̳̘͇͇̻̦̜̠ͮ̓̅̂͗̂̆̍͠͡ͅǫ̛̘̹͓̹͚͆ͨ͗͗̌ͣ̽͘͜ ̆̉̿̊̾ͫͪ̀ͣͦ̽̅́̅̔̍̊͏̷̧̪͕̞̲̠͎̳̜̹̫̖̻͖̖ͅh̽͗ͮͮ̋̔̍͌̄ͦ̚͏͜͡҉̢̙͉̜̪̫͔̰̻̦̩͉̘̲̼͍͇̩̗ͅe̸ͭ̐ͯͮ͛ͥͬ̒͐̅ͧ͏̟̻̼̲͔ŗ̵̛̘̤̰̞̪̗̲̻̘̥͖̰͍̭̖͙̞̀ͨ̋̓́ͥ͛̾͆͐̑͌ͣ͋̕͞.̍̋̿̃̎ͧ͐ͧ̔̂҉̢̘̳͙̲̳̹̦̠̬͈̜ͅ I'll give one to you.

[ Does he really want to know?

Of course he does. His lost memories, what happens to him after returning to Sora, everything. But what if it doesn't turn out so well?

What if, in the end, he just ceases to exist? ]

Just tell me.. what happens to me then.

[ His past can wait, it's his future he wonders about more. ]

'Then'? You mean, when you go back to Sora?

[ Some hesitation, as if readying himself for what the answer could possibly be. ]

... Yeah.

I think... what she said. "You'll be whole". You'll find solace there. Sora keeps you safe. No one will try to use you, abuse you. You might not think so, but I know--Sora cares about you.

[ "You'll be whole." Namine. She said that, didn't she?

He still doesn't understand what that means, becoming whole. Or maybe he does and he's just not accepting it because in the end, when he "becomes whole" he'll disappear, won't he? His entire existence isn't meant to be after all.

A shake of his head. ]

How can he care about me when he doesn't even know me.

[ How can anybody care for a Nobody. ]

Because he's Sora.

[ he pauses, and reviews his own words, and bows his head; a chuckle. ]

He's like that.

... 'were never meant to exist'. Really think about that, Roxas.

[ As much as he shouldn't agree with that statement, he knows it's true, if only from the memories that he has. He doesn't understand it, not by a long shot, but there's no way he can refute that simple explanation of Sora just being himself. And maybe he'll never understand it.

His eyes narrow at what he says last. ]

What's there to think about? I shouldn't have existed, right? And in the end, I had to go back without anyone telling me anything.

[ Those words still echo in his mind, leaving a sharp feeling in his chest where he knows he shouldn't feel anything and yet he does, where his "heart" is. ]

You were never meant to.

Just like someone doesn't mean to say something, but just because you don't mean something, because you aren't meant to be something, because you aren't meant to exist--

It doesn't mean you don't. There's more than one way to look at your situation.

I said I'd tell you what I could. But I can't if you don't look at all possibilities.

I- [ He starts but he cuts himself off.

What is he supposed to say to that. He's been told he wasn't meant to exist, but. He did- does. The scarce memories he has of his past within the Organization, and the ones he has yet to regain, aren't they some proof that he does? That he's lived a life despite not supposing to, his life and not Sora's.

So why does he exist then...

Roxas is completely thrown off by what Riku just said and it shows. Now he can't help but think about all the possibilities that the other has said there could be, if he can even think of them all. Probably not but he would try to. ]

I just... don't know what to think anymore. Everything I thought I knew was a lie and everything I should know I don't remember. Everything else.. no one will explain to me.

[ At this moment, he's glad that he still has his hood up, hiding the frustration that's already so clearly conveyed through his words and voice. But it's also hiding the tiredness he feels. He just wants this confusion to end. ]

I will.

[ maybe it's too late, but Riku isn't sure if that means much. ]

What else do you want to know? Anything specific?

[ This is his chance, to know anything he's always been denied, to finally understand the things that the meaning has always escaped from him because no one would explain it.

But, what to ask? And.. should he even ask? No matter how much he wants to know, should he really ask Riku to tell him?

Well, at the very least, he wants to know one thing. ]

How come I still don't have all of my memories back?

[ Anything else he could probably figure out himself if he's given the chance. But this. This is something he doesn't think a lot of people, if any, can tell him.

His memories are proof that he existed and he wants them back. ]

There's a lot of damage done to your memories.

[ Riku has a bit of trouble navigating them. he closes his eyes again.

it's difficult. there's something he's supposed to not know but he can, because he's--well, his power allows him to see all these different timelines. that includes the girl who never existed. that includes Roxas winning the fight. there are so many answers, but finding the right question to link it to was always hard. harder than Riku ever thought was possible. ]

Some were erased. Some weren't supposed to exist at all, but there's... shadows of them there. You don't have all your memories because people have tampered with them. And the people who did aren't going to restore them. You're not their priority.

[ his voice is distinctly soulless, an obvious sign that he doesn't like what he himself is saying. he would rather not be saying what he is. he can't imagine the strain Roxas is going through--and, truthfully, he doesn't have to. broken memories or not, Riku can still feel the ache and the pain that come from them. ]

'Who am I going to have ice cream with', huh...

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dualstance.livejournal.com - 2011-10-31 19:29 (UTC) - Expand

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