onepassingnight | oo1｡ watching, waiting for something

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oo1｡ watching, waiting for something

[ A city seemingly consumed by shadows, sparse light only provided from empty buildings and the occasional street lamp, unless one counts the neon lights that line some of the edges of said empty buildings. There are some piles of rubble, blocking a number of the streets and the only way around them is through the alleyways that contain even darker shadows that than the whole city itself. The sole reason for the shadows overtaking the city- a bright moon in the shape of a heart lighting the sky, partially blocked by a towering skyscraper that seems to be in the center of the city, shining like some sort of beacon for all to head towards.

And at the base of it stands a lone person dressed in a black coat with their hood drawn, not moving for the moment.

Perhaps the reason for said coat is the block out the rain that's falling, a harsh wind blowing once in awhile in tandem with the thoughts going through said person's mind. Or perhaps it holds another purpose. Whatever the reason, he doesn't seem to be moving from his spot anytime soon, gaze turned upward to the sky and possibly looking at the heart shaped moon. Or maybe the castle that can be barely seen at this vantage point.

But if one could see into his thoughts, questions whirl in almost chaos, unrest there as he tries to piece a puzzle together despite all the pieces not being there. Fragments are missing and he can only do so much before needing to go off and find the rest of them. But will this place offer said answers?

Why?

What's going on?

How did it get to be like this?

Where's Sora?

He doesn't know but he's hoping that it will.

Because he's tired of not knowing, of being left in the dark. He wants to know and he won't stop until he figures everything out.

First step is always the hardest though. ]

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What would I get by lying to you? Think it through. This is your dream.

Dream?

[ Is this really his then? Not just something from Sora's memories or something simulated like Twilight Town had been for him? No lies then, only what he wants to know? ]

Even so, how can I just- [ take your word for it. ]

I don't know. It's up to you.

I'm giving you a choice to know everything. I̛̽ͯ̽̾͌͌̉ͫͦ̊̈̾͢҉̟̳̩̳̫̺̖͎̺̘̤ ͉̰͓͍̙̘͗̌̔͐͊̆̈̈́͆̊͆̈́̌͌̓͑̅́̚͘͢͞g̶͍̝̮̣̘̱̠̹̱̬͕͇̑̂̍ͤͥ̊͒͛̚a̢̘͓̗̙̭̠̤̰͇̯̭̫̾̐̏ͮ͒̍͛̋ͪ͆ͩ̔̊̑ͪ̔ͤ̐͟͝v̘̲͎̪̦̦̟̤̜͔̫ͧ͌ͣ̌̓͂ͣ̋ͩ̉͌͜͢ͅͅȩ̷͉̝̹̜̟̩͉̝̫͈̘̯̰̪̔̔́͌̾́̕ ̵̨̛͔͚͇̖̳͋̒ͭ̆ͤ̃͑̒̊̓ͥ̋̈̍̚ơ̞̤̝̲̜̣͈̱̤̠̝̝̌̐͐̈́́̀͡n̵̵̨̝̺͚̥͓̙̦̟͍͓̈́ͨ̓ͣ͢ͅe̴̳̗͔͍̳͓̖͚̹̝͕̯̲̠ͭ͌̃ͦ̌̓̈ͣ̕ ̓͊ͥ͛̔͌̈̊͑͛̏̓͏̸̶̷̹͉̪̤͚͈̼̫͓̥̞̪̬̞̣͍͎͉̬t͙̤͖͓̬̪̣̣̯̳̘͇͇̻̦̜̠ͮ̓̅̂͗̂̆̍͠͡ͅǫ̛̘̹͓̹͚͆ͨ͗͗̌ͣ̽͘͜ ̆̉̿̊̾ͫͪ̀ͣͦ̽̅́̅̔̍̊͏̷̧̪͕̞̲̠͎̳̜̹̫̖̻͖̖ͅh̽͗ͮͮ̋̔̍͌̄ͦ̚͏͜͡҉̢̙͉̜̪̫͔̰̻̦̩͉̘̲̼͍͇̩̗ͅe̸ͭ̐ͯͮ͛ͥͬ̒͐̅ͧ͏̟̻̼̲͔ŗ̵̛̘̤̰̞̪̗̲̻̘̥͖̰͍̭̖͙̞̀ͨ̋̓́ͥ͛̾͆͐̑͌ͣ͋̕͞.̍̋̿̃̎ͧ͐ͧ̔̂҉̢̘̳͙̲̳̹̦̠̬͈̜ͅ I'll give one to you.

[ Does he really want to know?

Of course he does. His lost memories, what happens to him after returning to Sora, everything. But what if it doesn't turn out so well?

What if, in the end, he just ceases to exist? ]

Just tell me.. what happens to me then.

[ His past can wait, it's his future he wonders about more. ]

'Then'? You mean, when you go back to Sora?

[ Some hesitation, as if readying himself for what the answer could possibly be. ]

... Yeah.

I think... what she said. "You'll be whole". You'll find solace there. Sora keeps you safe. No one will try to use you, abuse you. You might not think so, but I know--Sora cares about you.

[ "You'll be whole." Namine. She said that, didn't she?

He still doesn't understand what that means, becoming whole. Or maybe he does and he's just not accepting it because in the end, when he "becomes whole" he'll disappear, won't he? His entire existence isn't meant to be after all.

A shake of his head. ]

How can he care about me when he doesn't even know me.

[ How can anybody care for a Nobody. ]

Because he's Sora.

[ he pauses, and reviews his own words, and bows his head; a chuckle. ]

He's like that.

... 'were never meant to exist'. Really think about that, Roxas.

[ As much as he shouldn't agree with that statement, he knows it's true, if only from the memories that he has. He doesn't understand it, not by a long shot, but there's no way he can refute that simple explanation of Sora just being himself. And maybe he'll never understand it.

His eyes narrow at what he says last. ]

What's there to think about? I shouldn't have existed, right? And in the end, I had to go back without anyone telling me anything.

[ Those words still echo in his mind, leaving a sharp feeling in his chest where he knows he shouldn't feel anything and yet he does, where his "heart" is. ]

You were never meant to.

Just like someone doesn't mean to say something, but just because you don't mean something, because you aren't meant to be something, because you aren't meant to exist--

It doesn't mean you don't. There's more than one way to look at your situation.

I said I'd tell you what I could. But I can't if you don't look at all possibilities.

I- [ He starts but he cuts himself off.

What is he supposed to say to that. He's been told he wasn't meant to exist, but. He did- does. The scarce memories he has of his past within the Organization, and the ones he has yet to regain, aren't they some proof that he does? That he's lived a life despite not supposing to, his life and not Sora's.

So why does he exist then...

Roxas is completely thrown off by what Riku just said and it shows. Now he can't help but think about all the possibilities that the other has said there could be, if he can even think of them all. Probably not but he would try to. ]

I just... don't know what to think anymore. Everything I thought I knew was a lie and everything I should know I don't remember. Everything else.. no one will explain to me.

[ At this moment, he's glad that he still has his hood up, hiding the frustration that's already so clearly conveyed through his words and voice. But it's also hiding the tiredness he feels. He just wants this confusion to end. ]

I will.

[ maybe it's too late, but Riku isn't sure if that means much. ]

What else do you want to know? Anything specific?

[ This is his chance, to know anything he's always been denied, to finally understand the things that the meaning has always escaped from him because no one would explain it.

But, what to ask? And.. should he even ask? No matter how much he wants to know, should he really ask Riku to tell him?

Well, at the very least, he wants to know one thing. ]

How come I still don't have all of my memories back?

[ Anything else he could probably figure out himself if he's given the chance. But this. This is something he doesn't think a lot of people, if any, can tell him.

His memories are proof that he existed and he wants them back. ]

There's a lot of damage done to your memories.

[ Riku has a bit of trouble navigating them. he closes his eyes again.

it's difficult. there's something he's supposed to not know but he can, because he's--well, his power allows him to see all these different timelines. that includes the girl who never existed. that includes Roxas winning the fight. there are so many answers, but finding the right question to link it to was always hard. harder than Riku ever thought was possible. ]

Some were erased. Some weren't supposed to exist at all, but there's... shadows of them there. You don't have all your memories because people have tampered with them. And the people who did aren't going to restore them. You're not their priority.

[ his voice is distinctly soulless, an obvious sign that he doesn't like what he himself is saying. he would rather not be saying what he is. he can't imagine the strain Roxas is going through--and, truthfully, he doesn't have to. broken memories or not, Riku can still feel the ache and the pain that come from them. ]

'Who am I going to have ice cream with', huh...

Not their priority...

[ Of course he isn't. The only thing they really needed him for is to return to Sora so that he could wake up, make him disappear so that someone else could come back. Hadn't that DiZ guy said it? That he's "nothing but a tool" that people can use for their own gains; nothing had been for his own.

But now knowing what happened to his memories, why they aren't returning as fast as he wishes, he's not sure what to do. The people who did it won't restore them and all he's left are scattered pieces of the puzzle that won't be complete until all the pieces are found. Vague notions and thoughts, he doesn't even remember how he had been before waking up in Twilight Town. Is he same as before or because of his position in the Organization, had he been a different person altogether?

More than anything though, he wants to know his chances of recovering those lost memories. ]

So what.. am I supposed to do now? Can I even get them back?

[ The sharp sting of truth keeps hitting him and though he's trying to keep his eyes open to other possibilities, other reasons why, it doesn't help that the truth is there. The truth that he's wanted but now keeps denying because it doesn't measure up to what he believes. Or more like, they're truths without any explanation given for them and that's why he can't accept them right away.

He looks at Riku from under the hood, hearing the barely spoken words. ]

... Why'd you say that.

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oo1｡ watching, waiting for something

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