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onepassingnight2013-01-27 07:28 am
forhiscause) wrote in onepassingnight2013-01-27 07:28 am
Entry tags:
✹ 001 ✹ systems overload
Living in John's helmet wasn't always a bad thing. He knew how to take care of a girl, how to make her feel special. If she could choose a place out of all the locations she was consciously aware of(and for an A.I. those were many) she was sure that there was no other safer place than that little slot in the back of his head. She felt close to him when they were together, it was the most optimal way to securely ensure she was aiding him in everything he could possibly need.
When she wasn't analyzing enemy comm-links or checking his vitals, she was watching. Being an A.I. definitely had it's cons but what she lost with her inability to touch, she gained with her ability to see. Everything John had ever lived she had shared and sometimes she wondered what was beyond her confinements.
Perhaps it was why her dream had manifested into a world of color and sky. Despite the danger they always seemed to be in, these new worlds they explored were majestic. Chief had gone through jungles, mountains, flat lands, and he never stopped to watch. But she had, she remembered the way the jungles were stiffed with heat, how she had to overwork his armor to keep him in adequate homeostasis or how wind would blow and make all those leaves dance and shimmer in the sunlight. Cortana heaved a sigh as the wind seemed to pick up, some invisible force pushing her off her center and she stumbled forward blue locks coming over her eyes as she brought a hand up to brush them away in shock.
"What are you doing, Cortana." She could feel and for a girl who had never felt any sensation, this was very overwhelming. There was no control, she couldn't stop the wind even if she tried. She was exposed. "Look at you. Over thinking again. Analyzing all those definitions and descriptions and this is what you accomplish?" But why not? After all they've been through, "After everything I've suffered-"
"Stop. Just stop thinking."
The wind wasn't stopping, truth be told, she wasn't sure she liked it. It was pushing her, she could feel it. Her logic told her that this was caused by millions and millions of atoms that were pressing against her nude form and she couldn't do anything but grip her head and keep the voices under control. She had to stop thinking but it was useless and this overwhelming sensation was making her anxious.
"I-I can't...." Her voice quivered responding to her own voices as she dares lift up her eyes only to have the wind blow against them. She gives a shocked gasped as her hands came up to cover her face.
"S-stop it, Cortana!" Because clearly, this is all in her head and she's torturing herself.
When she wasn't analyzing enemy comm-links or checking his vitals, she was watching. Being an A.I. definitely had it's cons but what she lost with her inability to touch, she gained with her ability to see. Everything John had ever lived she had shared and sometimes she wondered what was beyond her confinements.
Perhaps it was why her dream had manifested into a world of color and sky. Despite the danger they always seemed to be in, these new worlds they explored were majestic. Chief had gone through jungles, mountains, flat lands, and he never stopped to watch. But she had, she remembered the way the jungles were stiffed with heat, how she had to overwork his armor to keep him in adequate homeostasis or how wind would blow and make all those leaves dance and shimmer in the sunlight. Cortana heaved a sigh as the wind seemed to pick up, some invisible force pushing her off her center and she stumbled forward blue locks coming over her eyes as she brought a hand up to brush them away in shock.
"What are you doing, Cortana." She could feel and for a girl who had never felt any sensation, this was very overwhelming. There was no control, she couldn't stop the wind even if she tried. She was exposed. "Look at you. Over thinking again. Analyzing all those definitions and descriptions and this is what you accomplish?" But why not? After all they've been through, "After everything I've suffered-"
"Stop. Just stop thinking."
The wind wasn't stopping, truth be told, she wasn't sure she liked it. It was pushing her, she could feel it. Her logic told her that this was caused by millions and millions of atoms that were pressing against her nude form and she couldn't do anything but grip her head and keep the voices under control. She had to stop thinking but it was useless and this overwhelming sensation was making her anxious.
"I-I can't...." Her voice quivered responding to her own voices as she dares lift up her eyes only to have the wind blow against them. She gives a shocked gasped as her hands came up to cover her face.
"S-stop it, Cortana!" Because clearly, this is all in her head and she's torturing herself.
no subject
Mercury didn't slap Cortana, though she might have wanted to; or at least she might have enjoyed the excuse of the obvious hysteria. Rampancy. She knew.
She knew the feeling exactly. Unless I have something specific to concentrate on, my mind wanders to bad places. And the more she knew they were alike, the closer she came to the realization that John's willingness to reach out to her hadn't been for her at all. It had been because she reminded him of the AI in front of her, shivering into the wind.
For now, at least, she would give Cortana something specific to concentrate on.
"Cortana." Like how this stranger knew her name. Mercury stepped closer.
no subject
Almost instantly the wind stopped and the fields disappeared. The world went dark and the blue glow of Cortana's body flickered red a few times. She disappeared for a moment and then the light came back into the world silent and dead the way the life of an A.I. should be. Ami was now standing in the haul of a very deteriorated ship somewhere in space. There was nothing in the room other than the cryogenic pods filing the side walls and a small port where Cortana now stood. It was where Chief had left her four years ago.
Cortana had been alone since then in this dark and silent trap hole. There was nothing here just accumulating snow that drifted lifelessly about. There had been no other voices to recognize except the ones in her head so when Ami finally spoke, she reacted.
How could there be someone standing here, this ship was supposed to be abandoned. She was silent for a moment analyzing the possibilities. Her head turned to look at the pod she had last seen Chief in and although there was frost growing against the glass, there was definitely a SPARTAN in there. So then who was she?
"How are you able to breath without an oxygen mask. Identify yourself."
This wasn't good. Ami's vitals were in tip-top shape. She was breathing yet there was no oxygen in the air, the snow proved that whatever oxygen had been escaping from the fuel tanks was now frozen and gone. This didn't make any sense. She also wasn't part of the UNSC since Cortana couldn't recognize her voice patterns. Don't get her started on that 'suit' of hers was far from ideal for withstanding the 2.73 degrees in Kelvin that space was averagely summing.
"Identify yourself!" She flickered red again.
no subject
She answered Cortana as well, letting the visor readout scroll in front of her eyes as she did. In a way, this side of Cortana reminded her of the bluster and temper of Nephrite. She faced it with the same calm that had always infuriated him even worse, but which she felt might suit the AI better.
"The soldier of Water and Intellect, Mercury." She called herself simply that, naming no allegiance, as if she belonged only to herself, or whatever causes or person she chose to be loyal to.
If Cortana was here, where was the Master Chief? Even as the question occurred to her, the visor confirmed an energy signature in the cryo pod.
no subject
Was she hallucinating? That's what you called it when a person confused reality with illusion? Those voices were screwing her over, all those process's running at once but with no end. At least now that she was speaking to someone, the load eased. She had something to do now and that was figure out whether she was a threat to them or not.
"If I were you, I would start talking before I reach my own conclusions and do something about you being somewhere you shouldn't be."
No one was going to get close to the chief and even if they were in danger, he was safer in there for now. Cryogenics was a tricky thing and he had been in there for way too long. She couldn't estimate how long it would take him to recover and jeopardizing him wasn't an option. She could manage one insurgent. Cortana wasn't useless.
no subject
The thought of the man in the cryo pod made her reconsider. "First of all," she said, and a part of her realized how unusual the words were for her, "I'm not your enemy."
She let that sink in, whether believed or not. Technically, perhaps it was true, though she had little reason to be pleased at Cortana's appearance. It was at least true that she had no hostile intent here, especially towards the Master Chief.
It occurred to her that if Cortana had no idea of her existence, this somehow must not be the same one who knew the same Master Chief that Mercury knew. That one would at least have had access to some of what he knew about the sailor senshi. So even saying they'd been comrades could seem a lie. Explaining this would also seem far-fetched; she held it back for the time being.
"It was you who brought us here," she did point out as she crossed her arms. They'd started somewhere entirely different, and she certainly hadn't teleported them.
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"I did, did I?" Skeptical sarcasm. "And how do you suppose I did that?"
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"Besides," she pointed out, "I know for certain that I didn't come here on my own. I also know it's not likely to be the Master Chief who brought me."
That left Cortana, unless someone was playing with them both. Process of simple elimination. Wait. No. This wasn't the Nexus. And the only other place she saw people who didn't belong to her world... was inside a dream.
As if that would be believed. She turned it into a joke.
"Unless someone's dreaming." The AI dreaming of being in a field and on a ship, or a SPARTAN dreaming of an AI in a field and on a ship.
no subject
And that made her stop and thing. The only one capable of dreaming in this situation was the man in the cryo-pod at the moment. She turned her head in that direction and the data streams that made her body glow rushed increasing her brightness. If this was a dream then she wasn't really here but just a figment of his imagination. Her features softened.
"So you really are thinking of me, Chief." She spoke softly. There was always the possibility this was just a stupid set-up but none of her systems said otherwise. The world was set with rules and regulations, only a human mind like John (although it was hard to believe he could still manage these trains of thoughts) could render the impossible or unlikely in their imagination. Too bad he dreamed her trapped in a hub.
"I believe you. Somewhat. What I don't understand is why he would dream about you. Are you some sort of centerfold he hasn't told me about?" Cheating on me, John? You're not going to hear the end of this.
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Mercury didn't like that low voice she still heard, that easy assumption of John's affection to Cortana. She failed to separate the different Johns properly as she felt a sting of resentment. Of the wish his thoughts were for her. She changed the subject; or rather, went back to the real one at hand.
"I'll tell you," she said simply, "If you'll believe what I say." This was essentially a challenge to Cortana: give trust to get trust. Of course, Cortana had the advantage of numerous ways to ascertain if what Mercury told her was indeed true.
But an explanation of the nexus, different worlds, alternates and multiples, not to mention the fact that more than one person was likely dreaming here... was going to require that kind of deal. At least at a starting point. She wasn't unaware of how childish it sounded in a way, like making a parent promise not to be angry before telling them about some infraction of the rules or some misdeed.
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"Make it quick before I change my mind about you." This time, it was Cortana laying down the cards. "As much as I wouldn't like turning Chief's dreams into a blood bath, I'm not about to let you set the ground rules. You're the one at a disadvantage, not us."
no subject
Don't underestimate her. She'd spent a long time with the Dark Kingdom assuming she was no more than a girl, a sailor senshi. She'd shown them differently. Quite effectively. As for the sailor senshi themselves, she'd made them see they'd needed her after all, when they'd thought she could be shut out and thrown away.
Don't try to give her orders and set her 'rules', either. Mercury quickly decided there was no need or reason for her to offer any help. John was in no danger, here, and Cortana... She failed to make allowances for Cortana's protectiveness and saw only the arrogance, the looking down on her, the trying to have it on her own terms. She hated that. With another touch of her earring, her visor receded, storing the readings it had taken.
"You say that," she answered coolly, with a sharpness beneath the even tone, "But don't think you make rules here, either." Not for her. She makes her own.
no subject
Cortana really didn't want a confrontation. This ship was all ready unstable and the last thing she needed was a headache. Although it would help her deal with her rampancy problem having to deal with a torn up ship, it wasn't worth it, not if it could be prevented.
"We clearly seemed to have gotten off on the wrong foot." Really. There's no exaggeration. Her sarcasm was drawling as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Let's try to mend this before anyone loses their head."
Cortana flickered red. She was talking about herself.
as you said, it's a blue mirror. XD
A part of her also knew Cortana was right. She didn't prefer that part.
She didn't know, anymore, how to talk about yes, let's get along or even yes, let's put this aside since John is here. So she said what she could, irrelevantly, shifting back to the earlier question without acknowledging that they were both standing down.
"I fought with the Master Chief in a place called Econtra," she said simply. Cortana, by now, should know that a bond made on the battlefield is a bond that can be remarkably strong. "However, that man in the cryo pod isn't the person I fought with, or you would have known that."
Quietly tucked amid the information was that tacit acknowledgment that Cortana would have known about whatever John experienced.
"You should start searching your databanks involving multiversal theory," she suggested dryly, and this time it wasn't to be superior herself. It was that the whole thing was crazy until you reviewed that information and then realized: it was possible.
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"Why would I need to do that, you're saying Chief was somehow transported to another dimension without me noticing it?"
Such theories had never been continued after the discovery of hyper-speed. So many hypothesis had been debunked and it was pointless to many, the curiosity of uncharted space had become far more interesting than being able to break the time continuum. That didn't mean she didn't know what information there was on the subject, because as a processing unit, she knew all. She couldn't comprehend how John could have somehow moved through space without her. She was always with him. Clearly, the information she had was limited.
no subject
Simple exchange of information was easier - much easier. While Kunzite would have agreed with Cortana, and made heavy-handed efforts to drain that emotionality from his senshi, the senshi considered that defeating the enemy was enough. She was a soldier, for good or ill, by her deeds on the battlefield.
"If it's you," she added, though she disliked acknowledging Cortana's capabilities, "you should understand it right away."
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Cortana was a machine regardless of how her personality and her behavior could prove otherwise. Her process's were rational and depended on logic. When there was a missing variable to an equation, Cortana couldn't continue the process. Sure, she was able to regroup her sources and find an interchanging loop to get around her missing variable and continue the process, but when it was something both outdated and unproven, she met her limit. Trying to test an unproven theory was like trying to find a way to divide by zero; the process was just a big blank DNE (does not exist).
"I understand both Einstein and Hawking weren't even sure what their hypothesis meant or whether or not it was true, that's why it's not a true theory. They couldn't prove it and as much as we've discovered more rationality to help, there's no way I could possibly prove that what you say was true. If you want a rational explanation then it's a lot easier to prove that you don't exist rather than you claiming to somehow finding a way to travel through dimensions without burning to a crisp."
no subject
She was more interested in the dream itself anyway. "A moment ago we were somewhere else," she reiterated. "Where was that?" And how does it relate to John? Because this ship... did not look in good enough condition to maintain him for long. There may have been something else they should have been doing.
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"It was halo ring. Some memory of a random excursion the chief and I shared." Regardless of how uncomfortable this was, she knew that they had been somewhere different. It was a memory though, Ami hadn't been there. Or had she? "How did you see it if it was in my head?"
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"That's because," she told Cortana, "It's also in mine. This is what could be called a shared dream." Normally, she herself would also relegate this to the realm of new age myth. When she began experiencing it, she'd done her research, but there were few credible studies to be found. But in the end, while she was still looking for why it was happening, she knew that it definitely was.
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"Because he doesn't CARE anymore!" She flickered red, her voice going hollow and morbid as her rampancy kicked in again. She brought her hands up to her head. "He'll survive long after I'm gone that ungrateful-"
"Cortana, stop it!"
The dim gentle blue returned to her body and she lifted her gaze back at Ami looking utterly ashamed. She shook his head.
"I-I'm sorry..."
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She knew that feeling. For a moment she might have slapped Cortana (with some satisfaction), just as she might have done the same to someone else acting hysterically. Instead, as Cortana calmed herself, she decided there was no need for that. And she stayed quiet herself.
It cost her a lot to be fair, and there was something beyond ironic about the renegade senshi giving the advice she was about to speak. But in front of that raw desperation she knew all too well, she couldn't help herself in the end. Her voice was steady, detached and almost cold.
"You already know that's not the case." Wasn't it Cortana who, just a few moments ago, had realized John was thinking of her?
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Again, that wasn't his fault but her thoughts were hard to set aside. Solitude was solitude whether he was lying in a cryo-pod or not. It was unbearable. She turned her head away from John ashamed of herself. He didn't want him to look at her.
"Don't hate me. He won't recognize me when he wakes up. He won't want me anymore."
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The truth is it's that tiny, common thread. It's that she knows what it means to be used and cast aside, to be afraid there'll be no more place for you. She even knows what it is to be afraid your mind is breaking down because it doesn't make sense anymore and something is so out of place, wrong. There's something strange about yourself, and there shouldn't be.
"When he wakes up," she says simply, "He'll see Cortana."
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"Have you seen it yourself?"
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John, however, was steady. Even she knew that. And John... had treated her as a comrade. Perhaps even more like family. She nodded.
"However," she cautioned, "His first priority will also be the mission at hand."
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Cortana knew that this was the way it had to be and she agreed with it. Who would save everyone if not them? They had each other and without her, John couldn't finish his mission. At least that's what she tried to believe.
"It's our priority."
no subject