Day 4-- Through The Looking Glass

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

[This is insane.]

Hey Roxas? I gotta tell you something… something important, okay?

I’m not what you think I am.

[This is wrong.]

You remember when you unlocked your heart to save Kairi? Well I do too.

[It has to be the world’s biggest joke yet, Roxas’ mouth set in a thin, pale line as his hands grip the keyblade, slashing into everything. Break it all, let it all go-

Shatter it. It wasn’t meant to exist.]

Yen Sid told you about Nobodies, right?

What would you do if you had one?

What would you do if it was me?

[An illusion, a fantasy playing on the most horrible of situations he can comprehend- confessing his existence. His lack of right to even having it, the concept behind his own birth, the thoughts and actions of so many others that have influenced Sora’s thinking.]

[Rolled up into one and reversed into something Roxas wouldn’t recognize if he hadn’t daydreamed this so many times, except he’s standing in the wrong role.]

Roxas.

[He’s the Nobody.]

I’m your Nobody.

[Not Sora.]

I figured you’d be angry; but I had to tell you. We’re friends, right?

[If only it was that easy. The first thing he did without even realizing it was to dash away that false image of Sora from his mind, and now- Roxas was taking his time. Letting out pent up frustration at the scenery, tearing up the earth, cutting down trees, watching as the world goes from beautiful to full of rips and tears, black spots flickering about the place as his subconscious struggles to hold its form. Let it break. Let it all break, this insult to everything he is, this insult to all the fears he has.]

[And most insulting of all was the fake heart, beating away in his chest for this one, any only, dream.]

Comments

[auncyenhalig.livejournal.com]

[ She comes closer, her footsteps slow and steady. ]

At Sora? [ She knows that other voice now. But still not what's really happening here. ]

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

No. He's- he doesn't know about this. Any of it.

[He tilts his head up at the sky, thinking. Just what is he angry at? How many people, things, moments...]

I'm angry at Riku, DiZ and Axel for trying to kill me. I'm angry at Namine for telling me I had to disappear. I'm angry at...what happened. What's happening now. It's like I don't have any control, anymore.

I was angry at Sora, but- [The smile that follows is forced, skewed.] he knows even less than I do.

[auncyenhalig.livejournal.com]

[ She frowns, reaching to rest a hand on his shoulder. If Sora doesn't know about any of it ... that's not his confession to be making.

Roxas has said before. About how he wasn't intended to exist. ]

Still, it's understandable to be angry. It's scary when you can't be in control. [ Not being able to live freely, having to watch out for the next threat -- she understands that. ] If you know he's not to blame, that's a good start.

But those people ... how could they? [ There's a brief scowl -- it's upsetting, not knowing how she can help Roxas -- before her expression clears. Only a slight questioning look is left. She knows one of those names ... from where? ]

I am probably going to back tag every thread we ever do forever ;;

[vacationisalie.livejournal.com]

[She's got it in one. It's not Sora's confession to make, not at all. He tenses under the touch, only relaxing after a few moments of controlled effort. His entire existence- very few people have touched him at all.]

I don't think I've ever been in control. [An easy admittance when its true. He sighs and nods his head at the last, closing his eyes briefly. Sora... isn't to blame for all of this.]

[Is anyone, really? He doesn't know enough to be sure.]

Sora died. That's how I was created. He wasn't supposed to come back- but he did. I'm half of who he is.

And everyone...just wants him. I was supposed to give back what I stole.

And I am okay with this :D

[auncyenhalig.livejournal.com]

[ The tenseness doesn't surprise her; she waits it out. But she shakes her head strongly at his words. ]

No! Don't let other people tell you who you are. You didn't mean to take anything from Sora, right? You didn't ask for him to die! [ Because, after all ... he hadn't even existed at that point.

It's not "half of him" that has her upset. Maybe it's true. It's "stole". Like Roxas is some kind of thief or pickpocket just for being thrust into existence.

She squeezes his shoulder lightly; she's not angry at him. ] This is between you and Sora. Not anyone else.