Vanitas (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
forgingoblivion) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
onepassingnight2012-05-02 09:07 pm
forgingoblivion) wrote in onepassingnight2012-05-02 09:07 pm
Entry tags:
001 ◘ Void
[There's nothing here.
Nothing. No sound, no shapes, no movement. A void. Were it not for how frighteningly aware you are of a lack of substance is in this place, it would be easy to believe that you weren't dreaming at all.
Until enough time passes, and the darkness begins to close in.
It's not the sort of darkness associated with emptiness - it's a real thing, where before there had been nothing at all. The kind of darkness that grows and expands, covering, choking all that stands in it's way. Except nothing is there. Nothing but you, of course. No matter how much you run, or try to push it aside, there is no end to it. No light.
But the darkness does recede, eventually. There is no more feeling of being covered, or surrounded, though there is still nothing to illuminate the world around you. Instead the darkness is a force that lingers, surrounds this place, but those who are wise will realize that it's far from benign. It holds back power that can only spell destruction.
It, or him.
Because there is a boy there, among other things. A boy with glowing yellow eyes, who seems to belong in this darkness. Who may even be part of it, or at least know what it hides.
The are sounds, now, too, to fill the void, somewhere off in the distance. The sound of blades, clashing during a fight. The sound of the wind blowing over a vast wasteland.
The even fainter sound of waves.
And the sound of a voice as the boy finally speaks, because he knows that he isn't alone.]
You should leave.
[It's a threat, one that he sounds all too happy to back up.]
Nothing. No sound, no shapes, no movement. A void. Were it not for how frighteningly aware you are of a lack of substance is in this place, it would be easy to believe that you weren't dreaming at all.
Until enough time passes, and the darkness begins to close in.
It's not the sort of darkness associated with emptiness - it's a real thing, where before there had been nothing at all. The kind of darkness that grows and expands, covering, choking all that stands in it's way. Except nothing is there. Nothing but you, of course. No matter how much you run, or try to push it aside, there is no end to it. No light.
But the darkness does recede, eventually. There is no more feeling of being covered, or surrounded, though there is still nothing to illuminate the world around you. Instead the darkness is a force that lingers, surrounds this place, but those who are wise will realize that it's far from benign. It holds back power that can only spell destruction.
It, or him.
Because there is a boy there, among other things. A boy with glowing yellow eyes, who seems to belong in this darkness. Who may even be part of it, or at least know what it hides.
The are sounds, now, too, to fill the void, somewhere off in the distance. The sound of blades, clashing during a fight. The sound of the wind blowing over a vast wasteland.
The even fainter sound of waves.
And the sound of a voice as the boy finally speaks, because he knows that he isn't alone.]
You should leave.
[It's a threat, one that he sounds all too happy to back up.]
no subject
Light didn't belong in a place like this. It should be overpowered, consumed by the weight of this one child's darkness.
But this light was different. In a sense, it did belong. That was Ventus could shine here, when nothing else would stand a chance. Vanitas knew that. He also knew that Ventus should have listened to his warning.
"Probably", indeed.]
You're slow.
[As far as Vanitas is concerned, Ventus should know exactly what this place is.
"It's your heart too, idiot."]
no subject
[Ventus pouts, a petulant glare on his face as his feet, previously hovering almost precariously, touch the floor. And that's all it takes for the darkness to shift beneath their feet, light bursting from previously unseen cracks, for the world around them to form.]
Okay, then why are we here?
[Because...there's no X-blade. And as frightened as Ventus is just thinking of it, that thing isn't here. Which means something's wrong, or different, or--]
[Or they're just not connected enough.]
no subject
But it's good, for Ven, that his light is special. That it's strong enough to force this world to change, to accommodate for both of them. If it hadn't been...
Either way, there was still something Vanitas wanted.]
Because it's my turn to ask the questions.
[And after their last conversation, that was only fair.]
no subject
Fire away.
[except not literally. The fingers on his right hand twitch; he's itching to summon his keyblade; things aren't on his terms or playing field, he's way too tense. But seeing as that sort of reaction would probably just start exactly what Ventus doesn't want, he keeps that urge as carefully stifled as possible.]
no subject
But, for once, Vanitas is not here to fight. Or, at the very least, he doesn't act as if he is. This is not the place, or the time, to get what he wants. It might not even be possible here. So he doesn't summon his own Keyblade, or even more towards Ventus, even though the darkness around them continues to stir, as if it's about to lash out, full of a certain unresolved hostility. Still, Vanitas does not act on this.
He just asks a question.]
You asked me about why I wanted to χ-Blade so badly.
So, tell me - why are you so afraid of it?
[It. Not what it does.]
.....1/5
[Liar. Vanitas doesn't even have to stay anything; just stand there, and Ventus can feel the weight of all the things he can't quite say weighing heavily across his shoulders. So he stops, hunching them selfconsciously, looking down at the stained glass beneath them rather than meeting Vanitas' gaze.]
[So much to say, and yet--]
I think... I think it's a lot of things, really.
no subject
[Because he remembers the pain now, he remembers the keyblade, sinking into his chest. Remembers thinking he was about to die. He remembers seeing Vanitas standing over him, mask blocking out whether or not Vanitas had really seen him too, but then; had Vanitas ever really seen him? Or just... what he meant to the other.]
[Just the weaknesses that created him, and never the strengths that kept Ventus going.]
But it also...
no subject
[He was a risk. A potential end to everything people had worked so hard for, cultivated all on their own. It had taken Sora and Roxas to show him that it didn't mean he couldn't exist too. That he couldn't just be Ventus.]
I asked so many times. For them to put an end to me, it just stopped feeling like there was any other choice. Me or-- or everything else.
[Him, or Vanitas. And he could never ask anyone which one of them deserves to live more, because no matter what, the answer will always be him. Not with Vanitas the way he is. Not with all the people that he's hurt.]
[But he still...]
no subject
The most- the one thing. The most important thing.
[Is selfish. Is weak. Why is it, for all the times he's struggled to hate Vanitas or even just resent him, even just a little, it comes down to these quiet moments where he always seems to spill his heart out, quietly assessed, and judged, and looked down on from the opposite side of the room?]
Is what it means. What it means for...you. For me.
If there's an χ-Blade, there can't be a Ventus, or a Vanitas. There's just a weapon, something Xehanort wants to use, something people will fight over. We won't mean anything, to anyone. We won't be whole... we won't be anything.
And I think...
Done
[He just ends up closing it again, hanging his head.]
[When it comes down to it, he can't hate, or resent, or even hold a grudge; all those feelings are standing opposite him. Looking down at him, always trying to be stronger, trying to get under his skin. Always succeeding, because he doesn't have any defense against it. He can't understand how hate works, he can't understand Vanitas' judgement. He can't even understand himself.]
[He looks up, attempts a smile. It doesn't work.]
Doesn't matter, right?
[He can't say it. He can't say it when Vanitas knows him so well, and yet standing here, he's simply staring down a stranger with a friend's face.]
[I think...]
[You deserve--]
no subject
There's another moment of silence after Ven stops speaking as he considers everything that was said, and what he should say. What he thought of it all, even.]
Maybe it doesn't.
[The tone of those words is different from what Ventus usually hears from him. It's a flat statement; there is no hint of amusement or disappointment to give the words any meaning.
Was Ventus really so afraid of what becoming the χ-Blade meant for them?]
So what if we were never meant to be anything more than a weapon? Can you accept that?
[The answer is no, and Vanitas knows it, and he can feel his own response on the tip of his tongue - Idiot. Pathetic. If he didn't want to accept having a purpose, then...]
You'll never change, will you?
[Though the words are spoken with the usual amount of force, there's a quality about them that makes the question sound more like an unfinished thought than anything.]
no subject
[But we're not. They were forced into the state they are now, divided by cruel, uncaring hands. It wasn't their fault. It wasn't fate. It was an old man and his blind lust for power, nothing else.]
The only meaning we're meant to have, is the one's we choose for ourselves.
[A sigh, and Ventus shakes his head, chancing another smile; still small, but a little more genuine.]
I think we're both too stubborn for that. It's okay, though.
[He clasps his hands behind his head, purposefully looking over Vanitas' shoulder. Perhaps, politely? Either way, he's not looking to push and break that mask of his without Vanitas' consent.]
I think we're both okay as we are.
no subject
But now, he's even outright asking himself - how had he wanted this to go? He wanted something. Payback, for what happened the last time they had spoken. Results, maybe, even if they couldn't truly battle here. Instead...
He can sense what Ventus feels right now, and that just serves to anger him all the more. He isn't sure if he can hate the other boy any more than he already does, but he's certainly trying to. Can Ventus sense that, in the way that Vanitas can sense how easy it is for him to accept things as they are now? Does he realize how tempted Vanitas is to destroy him, here and now, and wait for him to return so that he could do it again, and again, and again, until he couldn't even return in dreams? Or how seriously he's considering unleashing the darkness in this place, and burying him so deeply within it that he'll never see light again?
He could do any of those things. It would be so easy.
But then...The "mask" doesn't come off.]
You know what that means, don't you?
[Maybe he was right. They were both too set in their ways to change. That was far from ideal for Vanitas, but he may as well let himself see that it was true.]
Everything will always stay the same. None of this will ever stop.
[His goal hasn't changed. Won't. He would never be the one to change his mind.
Unlike Ventus, he has no other options.]no subject
[And even now? When the dark feels so heavy and dead, when all his talk, all his desperate attempts to get through to Vanitas, make him see what he sees, give the other a chance, have failed?]
[He actually feels kind of...relaxed. Because he has tried. He's tried and hit a brick wall, but that wall cracked. He knows it did.]
[So he can keep trying, right?]
Maybe you're right. It'll never stop and we'll never be happy, or whole.
[But that won't answer all of their questions. Not a single one. It's in these momennts where they slow down and stop that things actually make sense. How long would it take for Vanitas to learn that?]
You know, I think I asked the wrong question.
I asked why you wanted the χ-blade, but...I think I wanted to know the opposite.
[Why don't you want anything else?]