onepassingnight | 001 ❊ He dreams of honor and strength.

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001 ❊ He dreams of honor and strength.

[For a long moment, there's no sound, no movement. Nephrite just stands in the middle of a long tunnel to a dark cave, staring at his hands and his clothes as if to decide whether or not they're real. His uniform, his powers, the unusual eye and hair color-- they're all back. ...But this is a dream. Of course it is. In reality, he's nothing more than a stupid human now and he is not in the Dark Kingdom anymore. He bares his teeth, ground tight against each other in frustration. This should be a good dream, but all he is... is confused. Confused and angry and maybe even a little jealous.

He wants his role as a Shitennou back-- it's all he has. But he's not so sure he wants to obey Beryl or endure the mockery he's so sure to receive upon returning. With a loud growl, his hands ball into fists and he slams one of them into the nearest rocky surface, spraying dirt and debris.]

Even my own dreams mock me!

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[Either way, once the shock starts to wear off, Nephrite makes it pretty clear himself what he's feeling. He shoots back up to his feet, no longer in the mood to sit and mope on his rock.]

You won! [You, you, you! Never him! And he whips around, snapping his cape behind him. He doesn't walk off, but he starts pacing back and forth, teeming with those feelings.] It doesn't change that I still died where I am! That I'm a stupid, pathetic human! What do I have now?! I have no powers, no purpose-- I don't even have my memories!

[He abruptly stops pacing and stares at her, breathing harshly through his teeth and nose.] "We" didn't win!

[Her face softens to something that could almost still be called gentle. She doesn't seem to mind the pacing, the frenetic energy; she doesn't let them hold her back from him. Instead, she steps closer. If she thought she'd accept it, she'd put a hand on his arm, but it stays where it is, after the tiniest of gestures to indicate where it might have been.

In those words, he's made something shift inside her again.]

Your memories? [She glances away.] Are you saying you want to chase after them?

Edited 2012-03-19 09:18 (UTC)

[There's something almost calming about her presence-- about that subtle shift. He doesn't even consciously acknowledge it or seem to be aware of it. There's still rage and frustration in his eyes, but he seems less likely to take out a wall. It's an improvement.]

What else do I have? Beryl-sama--... [He cuts off, his voice choking in anger just at mentioning the name; he doesn't think he needs to say it. She forced him to kill himself and now he's not sure where his loyalty lies.] My honor as a shitennou is most important! I hate not knowing when the others do! I deserve that much!

[He has his own reasons, but he's the same as her, the same search that led her to the lake, to the rooftops, to everywhere she might be able to piece together what was missing.

It's the same search that led her to the conclusion she'll give him now. She looks up at his height, eyes meeting eyes directly.]

Finding them might not give you what you think it will. Instead of that, you should work for the future you want.

[All he needs to know is that Beryl never deserved the shitennou's loyalty or held it by right, and that the prince forsook it when he forsook them.]

[Forwardness was never in short supply with Dark Mercury, but it was that she was bothering to be so direct with this that surprised him. Why? What did she gain out of this? She had what she wanted in her world. There was no point in trying to advise him.]

I won't know that unless I have them. [He pauses, then scoffs quietly.] And besides. In case you've forgotten, I don't have much of a future as I am now.

[She doesn't tell him to just learn what happened by being told. It'd be a mockery not just of him, but of her own search for herself. She knows the impossibility of believing without knowing.

Let him see the master that abandoned him to his death. Let him see the princess that killed her. Mercury's mind goes to Mnemosyne. There is a small chance of it being possible.

But if he knows... What will he do? (And, a more honest inner voice asks, will he want to see her, as she is now, if he changes? It's that thought that leads her next words, the ones to dissuade him.)]

You already asked Zoisite for his help. It didn't work. Why beat your head against it more than that?

That's exactly why! [Once again, Nephrite's voice raises and he balls up a fist in front of him.] Why am I being kept from something that's rightfully mine? I'm tired of wondering!

[He doesn't care whether he hates those memories or if he's thankful for them. The point is that they're his memories. His. And he should have what's his.]

You can think it's useless if you want, but I want them.

[She falls silent. She can't bring herself to discourage him more, somehow. Mercury glances at the nearby wall. It's a good target for angry fists and uncomfortable looks.]

Just remember: There's nothing to trust in Beryl, or the prince and his princess.

[She isn't sure she expects those words to stay with him.]

Edited 2012-03-19 12:23 (UTC)

I can decide that for myself.

[As for Nephrite, he's still not sure what she has to gain from this. Surely Mercury has her own agenda and he's not keen on being manipulated or being made a fool of again. Much as her actions of kindness-- or pity stick with him, he doesn't expect those sort of actions from her again.]

Following another without question has "earned" me this. [A place where he can only be the true Nephrite in his dreams.] I won't make that mistake again.

[He makes her almost capable of kindness again. There are two things she wants to gain from this:

First of all, she wants him to stay safe. She wants him to just sit down and stop making things worse for himself with all his struggles that never seem to get him anywhere.

Second, she wants him to be there. What she withholds from him is entirely from the assumption that doing otherwise will achieve the opposite.

It's time to distract them both, on the type of capricious whim she's come to be known for. He says he already knows the tunnels of the Dark Kingdom dimension are a dead end, so...]

Nephrite, let's go away from here. There are places you'd be interested in. I'll show them to you, if you want.

[The offer is one that Nephrite takes in surprise. She's doing it again. But he can't deny that he wants to get out of here so he nods, a familiar and confident smirk drawing his mouth back.]

Let's get the heck out of here, then.

[They have the whole Earth. They can go anywhere. That's the freedom of not attending to Beryl, or the prince, or anyone but himself. She'll show it to him.

They end up at a volcano, far enough away that the roiling lava won't hurt them but close enough to see it clearly, a display of the immense power of fire and molten stone.

Her smirk answers his as she shows it to him.]

Like it?

[And oh, is Nephrite impressed. The lava and power boiling in the volcano is enough to do away with his rather downtrodden mood from before. For a moment, he just revels in the heat rolling out over them as if he were absorbing its power for himself.]

Amazing! [He barks out a laugh, then looks at Mercury sidelong.] But I'm surprised you of all people would bring me to a volcano. [He grins.]

[Her answer comes with almost practiced ease, casual and airy.]

I just wanted to see somewhere different today!

[She brushes away the possibility that it was because of him, or for his sake.]

[His grin cools into a smirk, looking back over the pool of lava bubbling and flowing down below.]

Is the so-called soldier of wisdom also fond of power?

[Is that even a question? Her smirk answers his, arrogant as always; perhaps it's more attractive when it's not directed at him.]

Of course. I'm always becoming more powerful.

[Be warned, Nephrite; she's had a lot of time and a lot of battles to back those words up.]

That's surprising. [Coming from a guy who thinks power has nothing to do with smarts, though... that isn't surprising.] That's right. You're from another world, you said. You've spent all that time pursuing power?

[For a moment, there's a coldness to her expression that doesn't quite seem to suit her even though, though the answer isn't directed at Nephrite, precisely.]

What else is there?

[It's the only pursuit that hasn't brought frustration, and perhaps even pain - if she'd confess it.]

[Nephrite watches her for that long moment, but it's without the smirk he wore before.]

Point made.

[That's right. There's nothing but power. Something he'd been robbed of. He found himself envying Mercury for her growing power when he was now left with none, except in his dreams. He glowers into the volcano for a long while.]

I could have been something. I could have been stronger than the others! [His fists are clenches tight as his sides. It burns him up inside that even Beryl even chose Kunzite and Zoisite, who have made it pointedly clear their loyalties do not lie with her, over him. He deserved better.]

[She doesn't like seeing him struggle, especially when it doesn't take reading his mind to know thoughts of Beryl lurk within the conflict somewhere. Finally, she deflects the subject only a little.

Think about yourself, Nephrite.]

If you were stronger, strongest, what would you do?

[The question catches Nephrite off guard and the look on his face is not at all disguised well. What would he do? He has to actually stop and think about it. All he's known is that he wants it because then people would have to respect him. He's torn between taking revenge and taking his - what he believes is - his rightful place serving Beryl. In the end, it's his honor and duty as a Shitennou that drives him to answer...]

I would prove my worth to Beryl and show her that casting me aside in favor of those three was a mistake. Then I would be her favorite and Jadeite would be cast out to suffer. [And then he would find out how it feels to work tirelessly and get no appreciation. No favor. Perhaps then that smug little smirk would be wiped clean off his face.]

[There are times Mercury would like nothing better than to shake Nephrite and tell him to simply sit down and stop making things worse for himself. At the very least, she'd like to wipe Beryl out of his mind completely, if she could, as completely as Beryl wiped the past out of his.

Yes, that's the place to start to tear this down.]

Nephrite. Have you considered the fact it was Beryl that took the memories you want? Or that it was Beryl who's responsible for you being in this state?

[Who would forgive those things?]

[Nephrite turns on Mercury again, his eyes fixed on her, intense and full of emotion. Exactly what emotion, however, is anyone's guess. He's not even sure he knows. It's because of that uncertainty and conflict-- the fact that he has no sensible answer to her questions that he lashes out in the most pathetic attempt to deflect her away from the subject.]

What do you care, Mercury?! [He takes a step towards her, though it's just for show (whether or not he would admit is an entirely different thing). He has no intention to truly attack, especially not on the edge of this volcano.] If I choose to be loyal to Beryl, that's my business! My honor!

Even if you don't think about it, I do.

[They're words she'd never speak, not aloud and perhaps not even to herself, if she were thinking entirely clearly. Still, her mind is too sharp; she sees at once that there's no answer in his words. She keeps up the attack - for attack it is, although not battle.]

There's no honor in being a fool! In letting yourself be used and thrown away! Are you so pathetic?

[She doesn't much care that the word will anger him; she links it to Beryl and hopes the connection will stick in his mind. She holds her ground.]

If you're planning to let yourself be trash, you may as well let me kick you here and now.

[She gives a curt nod towards the rim of the volcano. The bite to her words, as always, is designed to goad him and push him, but in a different direction this time. Her eyes meet his, dark.]

Edited 2012-03-27 12:30 (UTC)

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001 ❊ He dreams of honor and strength.

Y U SO PUSHY, MERCURY.

ARE YOU SAYING SHE DOESN'T DESERVE THE BEST?! (also, keywords :|)

THAT IS NOT WHAT I'M SAYING. HE ALSO DOESN'T NEED NO SENSHI PITY.

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