onepassingnight | 003. the strength of the Wolf is the Pack

It's a meadow, surprisingly bright and green and the heat of an early spring sun is just beginning to warm the air. The grass is tall and green and there are almost more flowers than blades of grass in the area, riots of bright color and pure white hanging in delicate bells or open bursts of petals. Listening there's the faint drone of bees somewhere nearby, busy with their pollen and even fainter the hint of a stream somewhere, quick with the melt of snow from the mountains that take up the not that distant horizon. Weathered, stunted trees form a wood of sorts nearby, full of cool shade and the old smells of moss and bracken and last years fallen leaves. And Cloud -

Cloud is hard to find.

Until you notice the ears above the grass. Or perhaps a stray breeze blows by and you catch the ripple of gray fur between the swaying blades. He's lying on his stomach, chin resting across his arms and he's...

Well, he's a wolf. Grey and furry and lean muscle with eyes the color of the waters off Costa del Sol. And at the moment, he's watching the whispy clouds overhead, one ear twitching absently at a nearby bird that's trying to decide if he's invading it's nest space or not.

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The best, if not only, way to describe the noise that came out of Tifa was a squawk. She hadn't been expecting that at all, and she gently pushes his muzzle slightly away. She's still smiling though, still laughing. It's fairly obvious she thinks he doesn't know any better.

"That tickles!"

She's never really felt more at peace. This meadow is comforting, and she can't even really hear the drone of the bees anymore. It's almost like she's slipped off into her own world, where it's just her and this puppy-like wolf with the bright blue eyes.

Eyes that almost remind her of-- but that thought is gone again, and she's back to petting him, having tried to pull her shirt down over her midriff with little success. "Maybe I should take you home to Marlene and Denzel."

For just a moment, he's tempted to push it. She's a sweet taste in his mouth and the small noises she makes please him deep down where his bruised male ego is buried. He was silently disgruntled when she gave up her half shirt and short skirt for the more practical leathers she wears now and that small sliver of skin still viewable is a walking torment to him. But - she said no. And she was happy. And he'll do almost anything in the world to make sure those brief moments of happiness stretch as long as possible for her.

So he relents but he still crowds into her space a bit more, lifting his head so he can lay it against her chest, chin resting almost at the base of that small dip at the base of her throat and he huffs out a soft breath against her jaw. She should take him home this way. The kids would love a dog and Tifa obviously does.

He thinks that he makes a much better wolf than he does a man.

If she knew he felt that way, she'd do everything in her power to make him know that it wasn't true. No, he wasn't perfect, and yes, he had some issues -- but that was okay. Tifa liked Cloud because he was Cloud and not anyone else. If she knew that he was being eaten up inside...

But right now, she didn't. Right now, she was concentrating on the fact that she had a very large wolf crawling up onto her lap and almost hugging her. She giggled again, and wrapped her arms around him, petting his head softly.

"Cloud might like a dog, too."

He's less than two days away from even his own amazing ability at denial failing and realizing that he's being eaten up literally as well as emotionally. But right now, he's a wolf and there's none of that in this world. Just the girl he adores, who's happy and still isn't quite close enough. He huffs at her as he does his best to work his way slowly, insistently, closer, trying to shift his hips between her knees while his front paws find spots near her hips.

No. No, Cloud would not like a dog. They're large and smelly and they take up space, usually right in front of where he's walking. They chew things and most importantly of all, a dog would take his family's attention away from him. And even if he knows it's selfish and he's never there enough, he secretly devours those moments when he is home and the children and Tifa are focused on him.

But Tifa's got her arms around him right now and she's giggling in that way that reminds him of a sweet cowgirl with hopeful eyes and if she wants a dog, he'll give her a dog. Anything she wants if she'll just keep being happy and loving him. Anything if she'll just let him wiggle closer.

His sheer bulk and weight were slowly lowering her towards the ground, and Tifa finally relented, letting the wolf basically lay all over her. She's still smiling, still hugging him.. She almost felt like she was a kid again, playing with the neighbor's dog. Growing up, Tifa had only ever had a cat -- and while Snowball was a good cat, he wasn't terribly interested in playing around outside.

"It might make him happy," she said, growing somber. "He's been a little down, lately."

Satisfied with her surrender, he sprawls across her, claiming his rightful spot as completely as he can. Below the waist he's still on the ground because he doesn't want to smother her, but the rest of him, he stretchs out on top of her, careful to keep his elbows from digging in or poking her. His head he rests over her chest, nose almost touching her chin.

But - no. She isn't supposed to feel sad. He's furry and huggable and here. That's supposed to make her happy. Except even when he isn't here in his human form... his human form is still making her sad. It hurts deep down in his chest and the whine slips out of him before he realizes it. Stretching his neck a little, he flicks his tongue against that secret spot behind her ear where he knows it tickles.

Don't think about blond failures. Think about the cute wolf you've got to hug instead.

"Oh, don't feel bad, little guy!" Tifa smiles, giggling at him. "And stop that!" She playfully pushes his nose away, though she does lean her face forward to bury her face in the fur on the side of his face.

"I just worry... It's like I don't know what he's thinking about anymore." She laughs slightly, though, shaking her head. "But I shouldn't bore you with that kinda stuff, huh?"

You don't want to know what he's thinking anymore, Tifa. He's pretty damn sure of that. Not on his bad days when he wakes up from dreams of dead friends and knows that every second he enjoys of his own life are seconds that they should be having and enjoying instead. That they would have - if it wasn't for him. Why would he ever tell you that he's so happy with you and the children that it hurts - and that he's terrified that being that happy means he's about to lose you - because he always loses everything good in his life? Why would he tell you that he hates that narrow, uncomfortable bed in his office - but it's his fault he's there and he's pretty sure it's where he belongs? He makes you unhappy enough as it is. He's not what you need him to be. He knows it but he won't leave.

Why would he tell you things as ugly as that?

But her cheek is against his and it finally calms the restlessness in him. The tension goes out of him and he shuts his eyes with a quiet exhale. Against her he makes a throaty sound, low and soft. She doesn't bore him. Not with anything she does or says. He needs to hear her voice, to know she still wants to talk to him. Maybe... maybe she wants the same thing...

Maybe... maybe he should try talking to her more than he does. Not about the guilt. That's his fault, his problem. But - she always seems to like his stupid stories about his day. And their silly conversations that won't make sense to anyone but each other. Maybe - he should talk to her about Denzel and finding him outside the church? It - seems like a good place to start. A small confession. He can do that. Gentle, he rubs his cheek against hers. He'll make things right. He will.

Somehow.

003. the strength of the Wolf is the Pack

you say that like it's a bad thing :Db

well, HE doesn't think so

Tifa probably wouldn't either :X

in a case like this communication would be lovely... too bad it's these two

words aren't the only way to convey your feelings ;D

lucky for them

SORRY FOR LATE/SMALL TAG

sorry about the tl;dr in response