onepassingnight | (no subject)

[ Stained glass creates colorful rainbows of patterns on the wooded floor, beams of sunlight streaming in through the holes in the roof. Despite the decrepit nature, the church is fairly well kept, clean and free of most forms of debris (though there are more than a few shattered wood beams and pews scattered here and there); the one thing that stands out the most being a large flower garden in the center of the main area.

It's a healthy garden, growing lush and vibrant, almost sticking out like a sore thumb in its surroundings.

And Tifa is there, kneeling next to it, looking for weeds and other things that might keep the garden from growing.

It helps her feel like Aerith is really still there.

She comes here, sometimes, to clear her head, to take a break. It really is a peaceful place in what's left of Sector Five, a small private world for those who remember the flower girl who used to come here. Sometimes Tifa thought about taking some of the flowers home with her, decorating the bar with them..

But she always ended up feeling as though they were better off here, hidden away, where only those who came looking for them and knew they were here could find them. ]

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If you don't push yourself, you can't win. And you won't become stronger.

[It's the power-hungry darkness in her.]

[ There's something about the way she says that.. ] That's true, but.. pushing yourself to the breaking point.. that's not how you get stronger.

I won't break, either! [She's stronger than that. And she can always keep going.]

Good!

[It's one of the things Cloud understands about her that few people do: the thrill, the drive. But she turns her head, wary, at Tifa's answer.]

Good? Why should it concern you?

Because you're Cloud's.. [ And that's when Tifa realizes there's been no affirmation of her suspicions. ] Friend. He must care about you an awful lot.

[No, no Ami's quite content to let those little doubts eat away at Tifa instead; she won't lie, but she won't put it to rest, either.]

Are you saying you don't intend to look at your own feelings instead?

[ That's the problem. Tifa doesn't, not when it comes to other people. She's the type of person who puts others before herself always. ] If my friends are happy, I am, too.

[Ami knows where a life like that leads. And she knows that every time she said that, it was a lie to cover the hurt and loneliness.

When she wakes up, she won't appreciate her subconscious for the vivid reminder.]

Thinking like that, you won't get anywhere for yourself.

..I don't think that's true at all. [ Frowning, Tifa tilts her head to look at Ami. ] I wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for the people I care about.

[Not appreciating the reminders at all, as a matter of fact.]

My way forward is by my own power. That's all.

[There is only one person, in any world, that she trusts to be there. And even then, she assumes it will disappear some day - if their goals no longer coincide.]

[ That's.. really sad, to Tifa. ] I see..

[It's not sad. Sad was the pathetic girl who still sat there and waited, even when part of her already knew it was a lie, none of it real, that they'd already fallen apart.

She is no longer pathetic.]

It's the clearer way to look at things.

Don't you get lonely?

Not at all.

[Not anymore, she doesn't say. But if she thinks of 'not being lonely', it's always in contrast to the loneliness the senshi left her with.]

I don't need something as unreliable as 'friendship'.

[Even the people she could say she cares for, she doesn't call friends. Not now.]

Edited 2011-07-18 05:29 (UTC)

Then you're lucky... Me.. I need those people there to support me.

That's a weakness to be overcome.

[The words come immediately as she slips into that mindset of being ready to repel all notions to the contrary.]