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onepassingnight2011-06-09 11:51 pm
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volume 4
There's something eerie about walking through an empty New York, a place that's supposed to be the opposite of a cowboy ghost town. At least there aren't any tumbleweeds. But it always leaves Peter feeling hallowed out in all the wrong ways, lost with nothing left to find. He doesn't even bother looking into the windows of empty buildings; he's done this too many times to know that there's nothing there to see, that there won't be anyone else looking back.
The sound of his footsteps echo far too loudly and Peter sighs, trying to ignore the part of him that keeps getting its hopes up at the turn of every corner. There's not going to be anyone there waiting. Not at this street or the next, and yet Peter peers around each street, down every alley, still searching for the remnants of people that might have passed by. Maybe if he listens hard enough he'll hear something outside of the thoughts inside his own head.
He's already done all his shouting, he always tries it, seeing if the sound of his voice might bring any wanderers out from hiding. But he always stops just before going hoarse, there's no point. Turning at another street corner, Peter will never enjoy feeling as if he's the last person left on earth.
[ ooc; feel free to hit up this post however you'd like to -- be it prose or actionspam/brackets. i'll respond accordingly ]
The sound of his footsteps echo far too loudly and Peter sighs, trying to ignore the part of him that keeps getting its hopes up at the turn of every corner. There's not going to be anyone there waiting. Not at this street or the next, and yet Peter peers around each street, down every alley, still searching for the remnants of people that might have passed by. Maybe if he listens hard enough he'll hear something outside of the thoughts inside his own head.
He's already done all his shouting, he always tries it, seeing if the sound of his voice might bring any wanderers out from hiding. But he always stops just before going hoarse, there's no point. Turning at another street corner, Peter will never enjoy feeling as if he's the last person left on earth.
[ ooc; feel free to hit up this post however you'd like to -- be it prose or actionspam/brackets. i'll respond accordingly ]
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It's impossible to ignore the urge to beg Adam to give into it and tear into him, to get this part over with even if it hurts. And yet some part of him wants this slow burn, the ache that's setting his nerves on fire; it's one more piece of Adam owning him, taking him apart from the inside out. His own fingers are biting into Adam's back, leaving a trail of quickly disappearing marks, Peter's sign of existence against the man fleeting.
And maybe that's one small part of why Peter suddenly rolls his hips, sinking Adam's fingers in deeper, faster than he should. But he wants to feel Adam, to literally have him tearing him apart. Squeezing his eyes shut, feeling them watering behind his eyelids, all Peter can do is dig his fingers in harder and hope Adam understands.
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Never has it been like this for Adam, not even last time. This slow ache of need building in his chest, threatening to tear him inside out. This is something different, and he wants it all at once, fighting with himself not to let it be over before it's begun.
With a high-pitched noise, he's pressing in, breathing harried and labored against Peter's cheek. He needs to capture every moment, to preserve it in time to revisit when they can afford the time. For now, there's only this, but it's almost enough to burst him open. His heartbeat is erratic, thundering loud in his ears and directing every action. He needs to pause, to take in Peter at this moment, hips slowing too much for himself to bear. But he pushes on, Peter's name mixing in with fragments of words getting caught in the man's hair.
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Palming Adam's hip, Peter holds tight in more ways than one, trying to convince himself to wait for Adam to choose their rhythm. His own pounding heart is dictating the need to let Adam do the same to him and even though Peter is trying to restrain himself, muscle memory has him working himself even closer, shaking as he curls himself even tighter against the other man.
His own need is pressed insistently to Adam's stomach and that alone would be enough to make Peter cry out if it wasn't for the burn still spreading through his backside. It might be a faint distraction, a steady background throb that's making his muscles seize, but it's not enough to keep him from loosing himself like he's never done before. There's no one like Adam and this moment is in a world of it's own, no one that's been this able to drag Peter away from his self-inflicted misery quite like this. Finally he lets loose a furling of breathless whimpers against Adam's shoulder, unable to keep quiet anymore with Adam's heat tearing him apart.
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Long seconds pass just like that, quiet eternities lit only by their heartbeats. His own sounds are pathetic, but he muffles them in Peter's flesh, hips twitching to move but he can't just yet. Slowly, he raises his face to meet Peter's, only lurching forward to cover his lips. The movement drags his body with him and his mouth opens up into a cry against Peter's, wanting nothing more than to end them both. But he's determined to drag this out, waiting for ages on end to feel what it is to fill Peter; to see it reflected on the other man's face.
It's intoxicating in itself, the waiting, and he finds he mind be undone by simply this. It's almost perfect, and moving means pulling further away. It seems almost heartbreakingly cruel, and the physics of it hang him up. For a beat, he even entertains the thought of staying like this until morning, but even he doesn't have that resolve, or that cruelty.
Grabbing Peter's face roughly in his hands, he pushes back with a shattered exhale of the abandoned. The sound that follows is broken and high, and he's moving quickly to cover it up; the snap of his hips brutal in comparison to his earlier rhythm. His eyes light with something then, a bit of himself pushing past the fog, and he's pressing into Peter's lips, needing them to ground him before he's gone for good.
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And then something breaks and Peter can't contain it, his hips meeting Adam's in a rough impact that sends a shudder arching through his spine. The sound of skin against skin would send Peter over the edge of it wasn't for Adam holding onto him as if he's about to make the jump himself and Peter's clinging just as tightly where he can, the other man's slick skin against his fingers making the hold to be just that much more of a fight.
Lips meeting his, Peter doesn't think he's capable of a real kiss -- it's more of a frantic pressing of mouths to try to hold back the sounds tearing out of them both. But there's no stopping them, no stopping the rush of everything all at once. Once Adam's started, there's no stopping it; Peter's grabbing at the back of Adam's thigh and trying to tug him forward, trying to force Adam deeper every time his hips jerk forward. And yet he can't get there and Peters struggling, crying out sharp and wet and tight against Adam's mouth because it's still not enough and Peter doesn't know what to do.
Shaking under the barrage of nerves wound tight and frayed, every time Adam pulls back, Peter feels himself going a little more insane and suddenly it's all the more tempting to just beg the other man to stay buried to the hilt. It's a contradiction and Peter's past the capacity for reasonable thinking, burying one of his hands in Adam's hair as he tries to hold tight to the feel of Adam's completion.
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Adam lets out a desperate cry of his own, fingers darting out to curl around Peter's hand. He squeezes until his knuckles go white, sliding back just enough to catch and it almost tips him over but he's holding to that ledge like he's holding to Peter's fingers, with an almost bruising force. His head falls back and he's gone, every hint of movement threatening to break him.
Coming back from the brink with not a second to spare, his free hand digs into Peter's hip as he lifts off the other man to gain a new angle. He's pressing forward, achingly and impossibly slower, needing Peter's name to breathe as surely as oxygen. He stays again, feeling closer and further away, all at maddening once. Almost afraid to move this time, his fingers take root in Peter's flesh, watching him with a hawk-like expression.
There's nothing left to take and yet he takes it, needing this slow burn like nothing he's ever felt. Peter is hot and real and overwhelmingly there, and it makes him jerk his hips without moving back at all. Even breathing is too much moving and he tries to stop, to no avail; the allure of release scratching just under his skin.
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But that's to say that Peter cares about anything past the hideously slow crawl of Adam's hips. It's perfect torture in the form of absolution and Peter can't get enough, doesn't want it to end. He wouldn't have this any other way, though it's intoxicating, rendering Peter useless on all fronts that have nothing to do with keeping Adam exactly where he is, as deep as he'll go and even then some. The most Peter can give is the attempt to shift his hips, curling upward and nearly pulling his knee up against his chest. Anything, he'll do anything to sacrifice every centimeter for Adam's ownership.
Now that every hint of pain's been replaced, a dearly departed memory, Peter's fighting with the edge, beating it back with fingers twisting into the sheets at his back. If he could put his own body on pause he'd do it since there's no way he'd tell Adam to wait a minute, that he needs this to last for another eternity at least. If there's one thing truly cruel about this, is that it has to come to an end and Peter refuses to see it yet, won't look, and he's scrambling to keep himself contained even though there's no dying the coiling of heat in his veins.
No matter the pull in his muscles, Peter's gaze locks back onto Adam's and he's lost, the other man's name dropping from his lips before he can stop it. The word's even begun to taste like him and it makes Peter dizzy, needing to close his eyes so he can hold on to everything he can before the inevitable.
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His own legs draw up, preparing for what's next, his fingers twining with Peter's and finding a place to stay. A breathy exhale breaks free, and he's gathering Peter to his chest, muffling the ensuing sound against his collarbone. His arm winds tighter around Peter and they're flush, the heat stifling him and threatening to close in. He finally feels deep enough; close enough and he has to squeeze his eyes shut, not in a hurry at all to move.
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So instead he's dropping a slew of nonsensical curses against Adam's hair, as if that could possibly make it easier to hold still and let the aching glare flooding his every inch wash over him. Panting thick, heavy breaths against Adam's ear, the whimper that drops from his lips more closely resembles a sob than anything else and Peter's drawing tighter as the seconds tick by.
Adam's hand in his is all Peter needs, the only grounding he requires. And yet even that's not enough, nothing could possibly be enough to pull him away from the feeling of Adam's completing what's left him so empty. Peter knows all he'd be begging for is to make this last longer and he's settling in closer, tighter, the thrum in his veins a perfect background to the temptation that he's ignoring. The other man's name is spilling out of him before he can stop it, the word a promise as much as it is a plea, a surefire surrender. He can't not admit that he's at Adam's mercy, and yet at most he's suffered a twitch or two of his own, tipping his face to nose in against Adam's, drunk on his full heat.
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He's almost not sure he's capable of movement anymore, caught there in stasis, Peter's flesh his only means of survival. It's all collapsing in on him and if he doesn't move soon he'll be crushed by the undertow. "Peter," it's something like a command, but without a directive it's merely an empty word. And yet he had to say it all the same.
His hips shudder upwards, barely a twitch, but it's already threatening to be his undoing. He bites his lips raw to try to prevent it, testing another hesitant roll. The sound that pours from him isn't wholly human, but he can't stop it; Adam can only press into it, burying his face against Peter's neck. Now that he's broken their stalemate, it's impossible not to repeat the action, every nerve in his body thrumming with each subtle shift.
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Clamoring to gain a hold over something, his grip on Adam only turns that much rougher, needing to hold on while he still can. If Adam's name is makings its way from his tongue once again, Peter has no idea, and he's not too interested in finding out. He can't think past the heat that's barreling through him, a tightening of his every nerve, until he's certain he might split wide open; he doesn't want to so much as blink lest he miss a sweet second of possible release, his entire reality wrapped up in the man who's always there to unravel his needs.
Peter's desperate for Adam to save him as much as he's desperate for the man to be his breakdown and the edge is fast approaching. Not even his scrambling can keep him away this time, not even holding onto Adam's pounding heartbeat. The sounds he's making have turned into a steady warning and if Peter trusted himself enough for words, he might make an attempt. But now he's chasing each pulse, each surreal beat that's driving him forward, that's making the choice for him to bring this to an end.
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Fingers questing between their bodies, he tests a finger across Peter's need, gentle and firm while his hips work towards a contrastingly violent goal. He's been broken, and he's seeking salvation for them both with each deepening thrust. His fist closes around Peter and it's clear what has to come next, his wrist tugging in time with their coupling.
Adam blinks his eyes wider, biting into his lip to conceal the final sound signaling his own demise. And all that's left is Peter, struggling still to make his way closer, needing to feel his undoing as surely as he needs to watch. "I love you," it's muffled, but there, and true. The truth of it threatens to rip him apart, and he's holding fast to every bit of Peter he can reach, riding the edge of the man's release.
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Peter's just not sure he can take Adam's stare, not when he only has one hand available to try to bury himself closer with, the other laced with the other man's fingers above his head making his movements stilted. He can't take Adam watching him fall apart under the barrage, it's too much, his skin darkening all the more and he can feel himself slipping. And then there's those three words that have burned a hole in Peter's heart and if he can't hide his face in against Adam's neck, Peter's sure he might find a way to die despite the impossibility of it.
Curling a hand around Adam's neck, Peter finds a way to pull himself in closer, ducking his face down against the other man's skin before he's choking on his own groans. "Adam, I can't--" When his frantic movements slip completely out of his consciousness, he knows he's lost to it and there's no chance for any final words when it all comes crashing down in a rush of blinding heat and tight pressure, chasing every wet thrust with his own hips. Crying out against Adam's shoulder, he's oblivious to the feel of the release caught between them, too far gone to the pleasure flushing his skin, shaking, clinging to Adam with the singular hope that he can hold onto this for as long as humanely possible.
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Fighting the sudden pressing of drowsiness that comes over him, he smiles. Not for any reason, but just because he's managed to find some small degree of peace in this strange dreamworld with a strange Peter. And it almost overwhelms him, heart tightening in his chest.
He can only hope Peter's alarm isn't going off just now, knowing by his luck he'll be stuck here for hours after Peter wakes, and the prospect of being in this place alone is almost too much to bear. He can't imagine what Peter went through, having to stay here with Sylar for years on end. In a place that's real but not real, at least he can do his part to alter such an unthinkable memory.
Wrapping his free arm around Peter's shoulder, he gathers him in against his chest, the pounding of his heart settling into a gentle bass line for both of their breathing. He'll greet the dawn when it comes, or perhaps the ten-o-clock, but for now it's far too tempting to chase it away inside this quiet moment.
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Giving Adam's hand a soft squeeze, Peter easily lets himself be pulled in against Adam. If the other man hadn't done it, he'd be curling up against him anyway, settling closer because he can't stand being apart. He has no idea how much time he has left to enjoy this, and he can really only hope that he has more than he thinks he does. But either way, he's trying not to think about it, trying not to measure this moment using the time he might not have left.
Peter's waiting for the moment to settle back into a comfortable slowness, no desperation tinging the stretching out of his legs or the way he hooks his ankle around Adam's. There's something equally perfect about this, the rarity of a moment fogged over with a quiet afterglow, where words aren't necessary and nothing is expected except the simplicity of enjoyment.
But that doesn't mean that Peter isn't on an avid hunt to find words to fill in the spaces. Worrying at his lower lip, Peter noses at Adam's throat, it's only now that Peter feels capable of rational speech, when he's still close enough to Adam that nothing else can dare matter. "I love you too," the words are quiet, and the response is to what Adam had said earlier, but he doesn't lift his gaze until his next admittance, "I set my alarm later. Than usual, I mean."
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Finally, he's letting go of Peter's hand, giving stiffening muscles a chance to breath. Though it isn't long before his fingers are crawling over Peter's stomach, seeking lost heat. "You could've told me sooner," he points out, ignoring the double meaning in favor of letting his own words hang in the air.
If anything, it makes the moments that much more measurable, as if knowing he has more time than usual means he can count what he has left. The words, in fact, mean nothing, and yet it's as if Peter has said they can spend forever here the way it warms his insides.
"I hope that wasn't a conscious effort," he's adding, speaking against Peter's hair. It's only a little fishing, wondering if he can glean how much often during waking hours Peter thinks of the dream time they've spent together. Adam can only think it's considerably less than he does, but these are only more immeasurable quantities to drive himself mad with.
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"Adam, it's not like I did it on accident." He lifts his eyebrows, tempted to say that there really isn't much that he'd shift his time tables for. He has no reason to be up at the crack of dawn most days, except he always was because free time meant torture in the form of thoughts. Going into work early is the only option just so he can keep busy, searching for extra useless tasks by way of setting up the ambulances and doing paperwork that others forgot. It was extra time he didn't want to have to spare, and now he doesn't mind using it to benefit this, having a reason for it that went beyond necessary distraction.
Nuzzling in against the line of Adam's jaw, Peter smiles to himself; it's faint but undeniably there, warmed by Adam's hidden sentiments. He doesn't mind admitting to the fact that he was well aware of what he did by giving himself more time to sleep, refusing to let Adam go another second thinking that this leaves him unaffected when he wakes up in the morning.
Lips brushing against Adam's cheek, there's no way Peter's anything but addicted to the feel of Adam's skin, his own fingers trailing up the other man's arm. Clearing his throat, there's an undercurrent of amusement to his voice, "I would've told you sooner, but I was distracted. And you didn't ask."
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This relaxed and sated Peter has replaced the darkened one he's used to and he can't help but feel pleasantly responsible. With no work or outside influence to cover his day, Adam still spends undeniably more time remembering these dreams, but at least he isn't alone. That's all either of them wants, in truth.
"Perhaps I was distracted too." Though distracted doesn't even begin to cover it.
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Running a hand through his hair in an attempt to keep it out of his face, Peter's gaze is trained onto Adam, though it's light as it is searching. "I'll let you know sooner next time," Curling his hand around Adam's arm, he keeps the pad of his thumb moving, some part of him still distracted by Adam's warm skin, temptation too strong to keep him from touching.
Peter licks his lips before caving and once again pressing a fleeting kiss to Adam's mouth; he has to admit that all he wants is to revel in this for as long as possible, the afterglow that's still warming his every movement. He so rarely is allowed the chance to be excavated from his fortress of misery that he's taking all he can get, practically basking in the glow of a good enough mood that he's in fact, blaming entirely on Adam.
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"And next time... we should go somewhere nicer." He punctuates with the brush of his nose, ankle rolling impatiently against Peter's. "Hawaii, Paris, Tokyo... Anywhere but New York." He's so sick of New York.
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Peter would give near anything to pass along the message to his subconscious, to get him out of this city for a little while. The possibility feels irritatingly out of reach and yet so cose, a reprieve from the city that's slowly trying to eat him alive. Sliding his leg up against Adam's, Peter lets his fingers travel, playing at the hair at the nap of Adam's neck. "Unless you think you can get us out of the country first. Believe me, the last city I want to be stuck in is New York. And I haven't been enough places."
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"I could probably get us there quicker," he agrees, pushing some of Peter's hair out of the way with his lips. "I know just the place." Or he was going to think of one, before Peter asked, idly tracing an earlobe with his finger.
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Blinking up at Adam, Peter's well aware that he has next to no control over these things and it frustrates him immensely, that no ability renders him control over his own mind. But if Adam can do it for the both of them, then it's all the better. "You do?" Eyebrows raised in obvious curiosity, Peter's content to leave the actual location a surprise, as long as there's simply the temptation of something better.
"As long as one of us gets us there," Peter says, words wrapped around a sigh before he's leaning into Adam's fingers.
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