We need to work deeper

[waterfell]

Mercury is in a vast, open room made of marble with elegantly carved pillars and supports, that all could have come from a temple in ancient Greece. But instead of an altar, pride of place is given to a massive supercomputer. The terminal and viewscreens take up the entire far wall, where she gives them her full attention.

Her eyes barely move as she studies the computer intently, scrolling through lines of code and occasionally taking down notes. There! She sees exactly how to fix that problem now, one that's been nagging at her for what seems like weeks. But after long enough, her head starts to droop over the console and the words on the screen blur into her thoughts, and then into darkness as she falls asleep.

Ami wakes with a start. Nighttime shadows remind her of how long she's been sitting in this chair, with a can of tea leaves and a hot cup of strongly brewed tea to keep her company while she works through the long hours. The marble hall becomes a comfortable room, modern and spacious, with heavily-laden bookshelves and tropical fish. The massive supercomputer is none other than her laptop. With a pang of irritation, she realizes she can't remember the answer that was so clear a moment ago in her dream. She sits up straight, and goes back to her task right away.

Her eyes barely move as she studies the computer intently, scrolling through lines of code and occasionally taking down notes...

(ooc: since it's a dream in a dream, people can feel free to choose which to catch her at/flit through both)

Comments

[waterfell]

Remaining with the sailor senshi wasn't necessary for either of those.

After all, didn't you also fall away from them? [No matter the different reasons and circumstances, you can't pretend a senshi has to stay with the group, Mina.

She found another one.]

[luv_n_looks]

Sure. But I'm not saving anybody.

[waterfell]

[She'd like to feel superior, because they still defend the planet from the ones who'd try to take it. They never handed it over, or gave up their battles.

But instead, she thinks of victim after innocent victim, who become daimon and were destroyed because there was no other way, not without a power that could heal them. She thinks of the accusations that they never saved the ones who died when Princess Snow Kaguya attacked. And somehow, what comes from her lips is the truth.]

Neither am I.

[luv_n_looks]

Sucks, doesn't it. We made a difference, once.

[waterfell]

[She'd like to say they do, to recite all the rhetoric about not allowing the planet to be harmed; and it would be true.

But somehow, it feels like before, she knew how to make a difference in someone's life. She tells herself that sort of thinking never leads anywhere, and is probably just her mind going too far again anyway; but the weapons of sarcasm and scorn blunt in her hands.]

Is that what you were fighting for?

[luv_n_looks]

[Mina just hugs herself in response.] ...Sometimes.

[then she waves a hand, trying to give herself time to swallow the lump in her throat.]

--I mean. I still kinda do. I do my best to make girls feel good about themselves. A lot of them say it works. It's just...harder to see the rewards of that enough.

[waterfell]

[A part of her dimly knows it, although it's been a long time since she's listened to Minako's songs herself.]

Is that what you want from your music?

[luv_n_looks]

Maybe.

[it's a reason to keep going, at least. not as strong, as vivid as being a Senshi, perhaps, but something.

after all, it's all she has left.]

Is that what you want from being a doctor?

[waterfell]

No. [She's not sure whether this is a lie or not.] What I want is to show my worth. [Her research, her success in treatment, her studies.]

[luv_n_looks]

Why? Who're you trying to prove that to?

[waterfell]

[There's a tiny hint of her lips turning upward.]

Everyone.

[She'll make them all acknowledge her. As Mercury, she's already a name alternately admired and feared. As Mizuno Ami, she's becoming a doctor of renown. She won't be forgotten this time.]

[luv_n_looks]

[Mina looks a mix of unimpressed and confused]

What for, though? Why? Everybody already knows you're probably the smartest person they'll ever meet their whole life.

[waterfell]

[Then what she has to be isn't smart. It's something else. But it's gotten harder to deny that a part of her wants to find what it is.]

Because, I want to be even more than that.

[luv_n_looks]

[tapping her chin with a finger and looking thoughtful]

Hm. Okay. I guess I can get that.