waterfell: (misc ✫ heart of the water)
Mizuno Ami☿Mercury ([personal profile] waterfell) wrote in [community profile] onepassingnight 2012-05-30 12:51 am (UTC)

weirdest but best slumber party XD

Great realizations have a way of sneaking up on a person, bit by bit until they can't be ignored any longer. So many things - those talks with Zack when he was in the Lifestream, other encounters with Aerith, the ghosts she'd met in other dreams - all of it was preparing her for this time, wasn't it? In retrospect, she sees it; but they say hindsight is like that.

If you're tired, you sleep, huh? Her feelings are something she's expressed in varying degrees of cynicism, mistrust, and anger, but something she's rarely consulted any deeper in these past few years. As a younger girl, she was content to be guided by her mother's expectations and hopes. In the Dark Kingdom, she'd fought against it with independent pride, but she'd been expected to put her goals behind theirs. Mercury closes her eyes, but she doesn't sleep within the dream yet.

"I wonder if I know how to hear them even if I listen," she admits. More precisely, she feels full of contradictions. "I want to fight these battles. However, I can't go back, and I want to stay somewhere far away." Not here, of course.

"I want to be with the comrades I finally found, but I want to live my own life, by my own will." Her eyes open again, and find Aerith's. "What feeling should that leave me with?"

Frustration. Regret. There's anger, somewhere, at the cause of her present state; that one, she can name for herself.

"It's as if I don't move forward because I'm always caught in a circle of what I want to begin with." These are uncharacteristically thoughtful words from her; but with the release of some feelings has come clarity in others.

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