Cloud Strife (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
findmyownreason) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
onepassingnight2012-04-09 12:26 pm
findmyownreason) wrote in onepassingnight2012-04-09 12:26 pm
.006 These Woods Are Lovely, Dark and Deep
Once upon a time, for all good stories start with once upon a time, there was a great forest. It stretched on for days, for countries, for unclaimed fairy tale after unclaimed fairy tale in fact. This was the Great Wood, the Olde Wood, the Place Where All Things Start. This was the forest of all the old tales and it will ever be, until men are legends that dogs tell each other around the fires at night. Everything lives in the depths of these woods and nothing at all. Be careful what you whisper when you go into the dark for even the trees are listening and stories have a way of happening here whether you want them to or not.
Deep in the darkness, in one of the less traveled spots, there lives a wolf. The Wolf, if you will. For he is the Big Bad, the Howler at the Door, the Winter Wolf, the Devourer, the Nightmare That Creeps In Windows, the Child's Warning and, occasionally, the Huffer and Puffer, though he's taken to outsourcing the last one after one particularly embarrassing incident involving a hay allergy. He's the wise talking beast or the prehistoric feral fear. He is, in short, whatever your story needs him to be.
Don't expect him to be particularly pleased or even helpful about it though. He's been doing this job for a while now and he's getting sick of getting yanked out of rolling in dead animals just so that he can trot his fuzzy butt over to make menacing, half-assed attempts at your basket of treats and God help you if he has to dress in old lady drag One More Time!
OOC: so. Here's Cloud to provide all your Big Bad Wolf TM needs. Or frankly, the forest isn't above dragging him in to take over any animal need. There appears to be a shortage of fairy animals going around at the moment, something about better paying jobs in Hollywood. Does your story need a talking bear? Suddenly you've got a snarky wolf as your guide. Your brothers got the mill and all you got was a cat? Well, it's a wolf now and it's not happy about having to wear boots or do all your work for you, you dolt. Need that straw spun into gold by morning? Looks like you're duck out of luck. Wolves can't spin, though he does a very impressive cats cradle if you give him enough yarn and tie the knots for him. Point being, if your fairy tale has an animal of any sort in it, you've now got a very grumpy wolf who can't say 'not interested' the way he'd really rather. And, of course, he's still here for all your big bad wolfish metaphorical needs as well.
Deep in the darkness, in one of the less traveled spots, there lives a wolf. The Wolf, if you will. For he is the Big Bad, the Howler at the Door, the Winter Wolf, the Devourer, the Nightmare That Creeps In Windows, the Child's Warning and, occasionally, the Huffer and Puffer, though he's taken to outsourcing the last one after one particularly embarrassing incident involving a hay allergy. He's the wise talking beast or the prehistoric feral fear. He is, in short, whatever your story needs him to be.
Don't expect him to be particularly pleased or even helpful about it though. He's been doing this job for a while now and he's getting sick of getting yanked out of rolling in dead animals just so that he can trot his fuzzy butt over to make menacing, half-assed attempts at your basket of treats and God help you if he has to dress in old lady drag One More Time!
OOC: so. Here's Cloud to provide all your Big Bad Wolf TM needs. Or frankly, the forest isn't above dragging him in to take over any animal need. There appears to be a shortage of fairy animals going around at the moment, something about better paying jobs in Hollywood. Does your story need a talking bear? Suddenly you've got a snarky wolf as your guide. Your brothers got the mill and all you got was a cat? Well, it's a wolf now and it's not happy about having to wear boots or do all your work for you, you dolt. Need that straw spun into gold by morning? Looks like you're duck out of luck. Wolves can't spin, though he does a very impressive cats cradle if you give him enough yarn and tie the knots for him. Point being, if your fairy tale has an animal of any sort in it, you've now got a very grumpy wolf who can't say 'not interested' the way he'd really rather. And, of course, he's still here for all your big bad wolfish metaphorical needs as well.