findmyownreason: (tears)
Cloud Strife ([personal profile] findmyownreason) wrote in [community profile] onepassingnight 2012-04-05 03:30 pm (UTC)

always!

He knows it's goodbye. He hears what Zack says but he doesn't have that kind of faith. It's not a lack of faith in Zack, it's a lack of faith in the way life goes and the Planet handles things in particular. He knows Zack says it's not the end for them but - it still feels like it. Like he's losing him all over again.

He'll do better at it this time though. He won't break and he won't hide. And - he won't be selfish and try to make Zack stay when his friend is obviously ready to go.

this time... he's ready to go this time. It's - different this time

It doesn't mean he doesn't have to fight the desire to grab on the Zack and cling like a little kid though. Instead, he inhales. Exhales. Nods, just once. It's what Zack wants.

He doesn't miss the words though and he's finally at a place in his life where he can actually hear them. The blue eyes go stricken again but this time it's because - it's all he's wanted. Just - just to make Zack proud of him. Just to know - that he hasn't been a failure that way. That - at least this once - maybe, just maybe, he managed to do something right.

It's going to take some time for it to sink in, for him to really believe it, but it's a start and he can manage the single step back after that last embrace that he actually returned for the first time, hands forming fists in the black mane for a second before letting go.

"I know." Zack will always be there for him. Even when he's not really. "I - " but words fail him still and all he can manage is a choked: "Thanks, Zack. For - everything."

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