Interlude I - The First Dream

[rhapsody-onfire.livejournal.com]

[The Junon Cannon. One of her favorite places, if only in her dreams. It no longer existed, having been destroyed just before Meteorfall. And yet, she still remembered it. Very clearly, in fact. She point to the very same places that she always sat, where Angeal stood, where Sephiroth stood as she recited LOVELESS or they sparred. The Cannon was destroyed many times.

She sighed softly, a breeze playing with her hair. She dug her hands into her pockets, only mildly surprised she wasn't in her normal uniform but a much more casual outfit. The hat had long since been set in the back, where she used to sit with her friends.

Her friends.

She hugged her stomach, looking down at the waters below the tip of the cannon. She struggled to keep her tears inside.]

Do I even have the right to call them as such?

[OOC: Just something tame for now as I get used to this sort of game. XD I recommend listening to this! This can turn into a nightmare if you would like, something happy, or keep it as just a melancholy dream. :3 Up to you guys!]

Comments

[no-hometown.livejournal.com]

Ah, I'm glad you've found a way to blame me yet again, Genesis. Does that improve your mood? I did what I could to solve it. I tried, but many things were out of my hands. You left, both of you left me.

I know Angeal isn't you. I'd be a fool to confuse the two of you.

I didn't ignore you. You ignored those signs I did give you. Perhaps they weren't dramatic enough for you. My words clearly weren't enough for you, nor my friendship. I'm sorry I didn't pander to your fits and rages. [He certainly doesn't sound sorry.]

[rhapsody-onfire.livejournal.com]

[She frowns and her brows furrowed.]

You just don't understand, do you, Sephiroth? You never did. It's not about my mood or even shifting blame onto you! You said you wouldn't acknowledge anything I said but you somehow didn't ignore me and depended on signs to let me know you care?!

I didn't see them because I was ignoring them, Seph! I didn't see them because I didn't see them! You were my friend and I thought you didn't care, I assumed so much and you didn't take the time to tell me otherwise. I hated you for nothing-!

[She dragged her hands under her eyes, to wipe away at the sudden tears that spilled. Anything she says simply falls on deaf ears.]

What do you want from me?!

[She apologized, acknowledged her actions, her faults, her guilt, everything. She never expected forgiveness from Sephiroth but she hardly expected him to act like this as well.]

[no-hometown.livejournal.com]

You asked me to show my anger, yet you're unhappy when I do. Make up your mind, Genesis. You never could be patient with me. [He turned away. He wasn't particularly moved by tears. It wasn't that he was unfeeling, but he didn't have an emotional response to them. He lowered his voice, but he could still be clearly heard.] Ultimately, I know you aren't to blame.

Calm yourself. I'll answer your question. It's odd, no one asks me what I want. Even you haven't, now. You ask what I want from you, which is another question, and more the kind I'd expect you to ask. But I will tell you what I want. [He took in a deep breath, released it. He felt so odd, these days. He did feel emotions more keenly than before. Part of him felt oddly brittle, as if his exterior was a shell that might crumble away.]

I want my friends returned to me. I want to leave Shinra. I want to be free. I've only lost my friends--days ago. Not years, for me. It has only been a matter of days. Lazard is gone. Everyone expects me to carry on while everything falls apart. Yet I don't want to anymore. [After another long pause, he turned toward her again, moving quickly, his eyes bright, the expression on his face a little wry.] There. I've expressed myself.

[rhapsody-onfire.livejournal.com]

[It was hearing Sephiroth say that she wasn't ultimately to blame that caused her breath to hitch, but she stays silent, sniffling and listening. She shakes her head.]

...Lazard is gone because he's actually the one behind the war. [Her voice is quiet.] It may be hard to believe but Lazard started the war. Hollander and Lazard have been planning this for some time. My degradation only helped their plans. I'd made a deal with them. Convince SOLDIERs to come join the rebellion and they would work to find me a cure.

So I did it.

[But she won't say much more. Clearly, things had gotten out of control and things happened that couldn't be undone. But at the time, she didn't care. She wanted ShinRa to burn, just like Lazard and Hollander wanted as well. She couldn't give Sephiroth what he wanted. She never could.]

[no-hometown.livejournal.com]

[He was actually surprised by her words, enough that he was speechless for a moment.] Lazard did? That is hard to believe. I never would have suspected-- [He broke off, took a few moments to consider this. It was a great deal to take in.] Somehow, I'm not surprised. So much treachery. They betrayed us.

But I was not speaking of Shinra. I was speaking of myself, for once. I want to do something for myself. [Yet he does speak of Shinra, again.]

You were right to leave. Right to be angry with them. I don't agree with the way you did it, but-- [He broke off again, continuing more quietly.] Something should be done.

[rhapsody-onfire.livejournal.com]

[She shook her head, a small mirthless laugh leaving her as she sniffled one last time.] No, don't do what I did.

Just... just leave. Get out while you can.

[She swallowed thickly.]

Talk to him? Your Genesis, I mean. At some point, he will probably ask for your help and say all the wrong things but... help him anyway?

[If his Genesis was mirroring her own destructive ways back then, then she was sure he would turn up at Nibelheim and be the catalyst to Sephiroth's insanity.

Perhaps she could prevent it, this time.]

[no-hometown.livejournal.com]

I can't leave. Not yet. How could I desert them, the ones who depend on me? I doubt ShinRa would be so eager to let me go. [They don't allow people to leave like that, not when they're useful, especially not as useful as he is to them. Or how much of a danger he would be if he were to stand against them. He'd be a liability.] What would I do then? Fight them all? Start a war? [This remark may be more than a little pointed.] No, that's not what I want to do.

I want to leave, but it isn't as easy as simply walking away.

[He turns to look at her, searchingly.] And it won't be so easy to be kind to Genesis, after what he's done.

[rhapsody-onfire.livejournal.com]

I didn't say to start a war. [She snorted at that pointed look.] But leave soon. Leave quietly. Anything. Take Zack with you and anyone else you want but just... leave.

[She knows it's not easy but it was either he tried now or there was the risk of Nibelheim. She returns his searching look with a sigh.]

Yes, I know. I'm not asking you to be kind or take him in or anything. Just... talk to him. I think everything could be prevented if we'd just... talked. Clearly, I wasn't in my right mind to simply walk up to you for a chat and I doubt your Genesis is the same.

It's a lot to ask for, I know.