Peter finds himself dripping against Adam's shoulder before he even really knows what's happening, grabbing tight fistfuls of his shirt as if it could possible keep him held together. But that's not possible when he was already falling apart to begin with, pulling apart at seams that can no longer be tightened. He can't find the words for how thankful he is just then, for all the things he can dampen against the other man.
Grabbing onto Adam's words alike, as if they can be his savior as much as the man himself, Peter just wants something. Anything. Anything at all that takes away the ache, the dull emptiness that's taken up occupation inside of himself as much as out. He's not looking for a perfect solution, because he knows there isn't one. There's no way to fix things like this, not the way he used to believe there was. But he's willing to take whatever he can get, the quiet hopes of a desperate man scrambling for whatever scraps of affection he can garner from Adam.
Rubbing his face against Adam's shoulder to try to wipe away tears doesn't stop fresh ones from coming, and he simply noses down against his collar, using Adam to hide away from the rest of the world as more tears make a steady trek down between them. His own human shield, Peter pulls Adam that much tighter against himself. Now that he has him, he doesn't want to let go and he can scarcely breathe, won't do a single thing that might push him further away.
"I can't do it by myself." It's what he said to Nathan, admitted to him, and it still holds true. That fact alone would be enough to drop him to his knees if he wasn't holding onto Adam. It's obvious that he's not gotten any better at doing this by himself, any of it, and he's not even sure if it's possible for him to. Peter knew he depended on other people, he just hadn't known how much until they'd all gone away. "I can't."
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Grabbing onto Adam's words alike, as if they can be his savior as much as the man himself, Peter just wants something. Anything. Anything at all that takes away the ache, the dull emptiness that's taken up occupation inside of himself as much as out. He's not looking for a perfect solution, because he knows there isn't one. There's no way to fix things like this, not the way he used to believe there was. But he's willing to take whatever he can get, the quiet hopes of a desperate man scrambling for whatever scraps of affection he can garner from Adam.
Rubbing his face against Adam's shoulder to try to wipe away tears doesn't stop fresh ones from coming, and he simply noses down against his collar, using Adam to hide away from the rest of the world as more tears make a steady trek down between them. His own human shield, Peter pulls Adam that much tighter against himself. Now that he has him, he doesn't want to let go and he can scarcely breathe, won't do a single thing that might push him further away.
"I can't do it by myself." It's what he said to Nathan, admitted to him, and it still holds true. That fact alone would be enough to drop him to his knees if he wasn't holding onto Adam. It's obvious that he's not gotten any better at doing this by himself, any of it, and he's not even sure if it's possible for him to. Peter knew he depended on other people, he just hadn't known how much until they'd all gone away. "I can't."