"Because you force yourself to." Peter's gaze snaps back to Adam, his expression finally broken.
"I was stuck with Sylar for years. And I didn't want to be, I didn't have a choice. I didn't get to take the easy way out. I didn't know how. Just like loosing Nathan wasn't a choice. Or almost exploding in New York. None of it." He doesn't know where the rest of himself is, because everything except the sound of his voice has gone numb. If his fists are clenched, or if his heart has started to pound -- he doesn't know. It's all gone, pulled into some abysmal wave of frustration and misery and all the things he doesn't know. And once again, it's not even completely directed at Adam. It just exists, it's there, and Peter hates that he's even letting part of it froth to the surface.
It could almost be said that Peter's jealous. Not of the things that Adam's done, but because he gets to leave while Peter has to stay. He's run out of options, he's at the end of the line, and he hates that there's nothing left to do but let the emotions pile up. "You- You've always had the choice. Everyone else makes my choices for me. All I ever wanted was to be something. To feel like I had a purpose. That's how I stand it, because I don't have anything else."
no subject
"I was stuck with Sylar for years. And I didn't want to be, I didn't have a choice. I didn't get to take the easy way out. I didn't know how. Just like loosing Nathan wasn't a choice. Or almost exploding in New York. None of it." He doesn't know where the rest of himself is, because everything except the sound of his voice has gone numb. If his fists are clenched, or if his heart has started to pound -- he doesn't know. It's all gone, pulled into some abysmal wave of frustration and misery and all the things he doesn't know. And once again, it's not even completely directed at Adam. It just exists, it's there, and Peter hates that he's even letting part of it froth to the surface.
It could almost be said that Peter's jealous. Not of the things that Adam's done, but because he gets to leave while Peter has to stay. He's run out of options, he's at the end of the line, and he hates that there's nothing left to do but let the emotions pile up. "You- You've always had the choice. Everyone else makes my choices for me. All I ever wanted was to be something. To feel like I had a purpose. That's how I stand it, because I don't have anything else."