His heart constricts and there's not a way to answer that without completely falling apart. He crawls closer to Peter, until he can see the other man's face--he needs him to know the truth, and see it reflected back at him.
"It would be easier for both of us if I weren't, if I could honestly sit here and say you weren't on my radar before that night." Adam shakes his head, throat tightening when he tries to speak again. "But I've lost the right to lie to you." Any version of you, he doesn't manage to say.
Hanging his head, he wipes his face with his sleeve, unable to take the proper breath to say anything more. If he had never found the community, he would be dead. Peter gave him another chance at life and he hadn't hesitated in betraying him again, in turning his back. 400 years of botches and failures and one might think Adam would learn. But a leopard can't change his spots.
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"It would be easier for both of us if I weren't, if I could honestly sit here and say you weren't on my radar before that night." Adam shakes his head, throat tightening when he tries to speak again. "But I've lost the right to lie to you." Any version of you, he doesn't manage to say.
Hanging his head, he wipes his face with his sleeve, unable to take the proper breath to say anything more. If he had never found the community, he would be dead. Peter gave him another chance at life and he hadn't hesitated in betraying him again, in turning his back. 400 years of botches and failures and one might think Adam would learn. But a leopard can't change his spots.